My name? Oh that thing, yes my name. It's Eliza. I don't have many friends, nor would I want to. I used to. But, after I started...well seeing things, I avoided a lot of people. I didn't want them to know, but I didn't want to keep all of this...this..uh information to myself. I had myself beleive that if anyone figured out, all of my life plans would crumble. My future that I've been planning since I was 10, wouldn't ever exist. So, no matter how much I was tempted to speak out and tell someone the fear I've been living in since I was 10 was pushed back. I started planning a future to distract me. From what I saw, from what I heard. But it didn't help as much as I wanted it to. My name is Eliza. And you, dear diary, are my only outlet to share my deepest secrets.
November 1, 2014
Dear Diary,
I haven't slept all night. It's 3am, although the clock now saids 8:88, and im scared to blink. Because everytime I blink, the man standing by my door gets closer. I know what your thinking. How am I writing this if the man comes closer everytime I blink or look away? I'm recording this with my phone, writing it down later. I'm trying really hard not to blink, because one i've blinked enough, he will be right next to me. My room isn't exactly big. My door, then my closet and my dresser on the opposite side of the room. My bed is in the furthest corner away from the door. By my bed, is my window and hiding behind the curtians are my camping knife and my first voodoo doll. Don't worry. I haven't, whats the word...activated it yet. Its just a doll made out of yarn and stuffed with pins to make a face. I normally have my knife underneath my pillow, but I keep loosing it to the cracks in my bed.
I just blinked. The man is now next to my closet. Which isn't closed... does he know Rosalie? I'll talk about her later, don't want to summon her. Already in a mess. I'm not sure the shadowy figure even is a man. It looks like hes wearing a fedora, and he's not completly dark grey. Some dark purple, slightly glowing, fumes of light smoke are coming from his "feet". I didn't look at his "feet" directly. He might move if i'm distracted. I don't want that. I want to hide under my blankets. He is all in my head right? The clock still saids 8:88. I can see it in the corner of my eye. Its on my dresser and close to the door. I was checking the time when I saw him...or it. It said 3am then...He is still, besides the purple smoke, which is moving but doesn't go up past my bed. It seems to disperse quickly after it is released. My room is messy. Or I'm assuming it is. It always is. I don't get the point of cleaning it when its just going to get messy again. I blinked again. He came closer. To the foot of my bed. Its only a couple footsteps away from my closet. Like I said, not exactly a big room.
I think now is the time to retreat to under my blankets. I'm shivering, and scared thats true. But if I can't see him, well I can't see him. My mind will stop playing games with me and maybe, just maybe fall asleep. Next time I blink, he will be right next to me. Looking down at my pale face. Okay....under the blankets....in 3....................2......and......1.
I'm under. My eyes are closed. I don't want to see him peering down at me once I open them. Who knows. He may still be there. Maybe I'm not under any blankets at all. Maybe he lifted them off. I think I'm just going to keep talking under I'm brave enough to open my eyes. Lets see...I don't really know what to talk about. My mind just keeps wandering to the shadowy figure. Come on Eliza. Just 10 seconds of bravery. YOu can do this. Okay. I'm going to...to open my eyes. I shouldn't worry so much. I'm still under the blanket. Safe, or at least I think so. Maybe I should look outside the blanket...just for a second.
He's there. Right next to the bed. I shouldn't peak out the blanket. Bad idea, mistake mistake mistake. I'm shivering more now. I'm more scared. And no one is going to calm me down. No one is going to comfort me. Because your all I have diary. Jeez. Not good for much are you? I'm so pathetic. I'm hiding from a "big scary monster" under the blankets. Its just like I'm 10. ...Which uh actually would make sense on my actions. I don't remeber much of my hallucinations from when I was younger, but I was proof of them. Drawings that I found in my many diaries that never lasted and just turned into a sketch book. In every single one of them, I promise not to give up and just draw. I never come trhough with that. But I really realy hope this one will be different. For this one isn't about my day and how my life is going. This is a documentation of everything current in my life. Which, at the moment are my hallucinations. I don't expect you to think whatever I put down here is scary. All I know is when I look back at these a couple years from now, I will still shiver from the memory I tried to bury. I will try to bury this, that I can honestly promise you.
I should look outside the covers again. Just to see if...if he still is there. It's been a little bit. Has he given up. Or will I have to stay awake a couple more hours until the sunrise comes. One last time I'll check. One moment... He isn't there. I'm peaking my head out a little more to check the rest of my room. Nope. Nothing. I'll have to stop the recording to turn on the flashlight. I wan't to turn on the light. Until next time Diary. And thanks...
