Demons within my Heart

The hate I give

  I don't think I've ever felt so strongly about something before. The pent up pain and frustration I hold is unmatched. I'm extremely sensitive and when I'm pushed to my limits it's like a wild fire. Everyone seems to take effect and no one comes to wonder "why?" Why would she be so upset? "Chill out." I'm sorry that I am continuously getting attacked for something I say or that people feel the need to contradict my opinions. I'm sorry that I let you get a single peak into my life and that you went behind my back to do the one thing that tears me apart inside. But when I confront you about it somehow I end up as the bad guy? I'm the one that has to get the awkward looks or is judged by the people I love just because they do it to. I'm sorry that I was raised and attended a religious school, but hey. At least I didn't go and disappoint people. At least I'm not doing something that would make my parents upset with me. At least I'm not lying to my friends faces saying "never again." "Just this once." Well I hope you're happy. I can't imagine spending time with people, but not being in full control of your own decisions. It's all part of the fun right? Well what happens when you need to be taken care of? What happens when you can't even be in control of your own brain? What happens when someone you love more than the whole world doesn't approve of what you do? I hope that when that day comes are you begin to regret it you hear my voice saying "I told you so." Who was the one person that warned you? Who is the one person that had promised to go down the road with you, but you decided to go off on your own." Someday it will bite you in the ass. Not because of the side effects of what you are doing will take place, but because you will have to face me being completely vulnerable along with the crowd of idiots behind you. I thought you were smart, but all you do is follow. You couldn't eat for days and continuously were throwing up on end. What kind of fucking idiot decides to put themselves through that gain. I love you with all my heart, but that right there will kick you in the ass. I hope you are having a great time. I hope you are smiling in pure bliss. But when the holy grail comes to rain down on you for fucking up then that's on you. Why would you do something that someone doesn't approve off? Seriously? Why? Was it worth it? Will it make you happy in the end? I sure hope it does. All smiles. Have a nice future.