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I wish...I wish that for just one day, they will all treat me like a freaking normal person and not just like someone that will die in a few weeks or maybe even days. I just want to spend this freaking Christmas with someone who won't look at me like they are expecting for me to drop dead any minute.
I'm interrupted by the knocking on my door, my mum enters the room and tells me that we have guests. I climb out of my bed and make my way in to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and all I see is someone that looks really pale and tired of all of this...Ugh! I take a shower and then brush my teeth, I feel like I haven't brushed my teeth since years. I walk in my closet and take the first things I see, I put them on and then I make my way downstairs. There I can hear voices coming from the dining room but I'm not sure if I really want to go to them, I just don't feel like it... I know my mom would really appreciate it but I would also appreciate that when she's looking at me I won't see that fear in her eyes always awaiting the worst...I'm still trying to choose on whether I should go or just leave.
The next thing I know is that I take my keys, put my shoes and my coat on and I leave. Outside The air hits me in the face like a tsunami, I haven't left the house since I have found out that I'm gonna die... When we found out that I'm really sick my mom was a disaster, she wouldn't eat and every night she would cry in her room thinking that I couldn't hear her. We went to so many doctors to try to find a treatment, but nothing... After a few months when my situation began to get worse, my mom called the doctor and then he told us that I only have two to three months left...My mom tried her best to hide her pain but everyone that looks in her eyes could see that she's not ok...First me getting sick and then my dad leaving her because he couldn't bare the thought of his freaking son getting sick. But that's what I call bullshit, he never cared about me and my mom he just wanted her money. They got divorced two months after we got the news that I'm sick. My mom decided to sell our house and move back to Italy so we could be close to our family.
I take out my headphones and turn on my music and I just walk, don't know where to but all I know is that I feel better. Music is my life I could always listen to music and I won't ever get bored of it it's like the music and I are one and the same person. I know it's weird but lately my whole life is in the books on my nightstand and in music.
"Hey, can you stop!?" I hear someone say behind me, I turn around to see a girl that is out of breath. She looks at me with a murderous stare.
"What do you want?" I ask her a little annoyed. Who is she?
"What I want?! YOU just left without even saying anything! Why would you do that? Your mom is worried sick, even though I don't know why she looked so scared when she saw that you weren't in your room...I mean you are what 19, right? So why would she worry like that?" she said annoyed.
She really doesn't know...She doesn't know that I'm sick...
"Hello? You deaf?!" She waves her hand in front of my face like a stupid kid that needs attention.
"Geez, don't be so loud!" I tell her.
"Oh, he speaks! So tell me where you headed?" she asks curiously.
"I don't know, I just needed some fresh air, I guess." I shrug.
"Oh, well let's go then!" she starts walking.
"What? Where you going?" I ask her surprised.
She looks really annoyed. She just rolls her eyes turns around and starts walking again.
"You really don't think that I'm going back there, are you?" she says without even looking back.
Well I guess I could just go with her right? What can happen?
We arrive at Plaza San Marco. We enter the first coffee shop we see and we buy ourselves something to drink. We than begin to walk again, we talk, laugh and it really feels so good to see that she isn't worried that I could die any moment. After a few hours of just chilling and talking we decide to go to a souvenirs market. There we both decided to write some post cards for each other and then we'll just send them with post.
When we are done writing we go outside just to see that it began snowing so hard that you could barely see in front of you. We find it so beautiful that we begin to run all over the place. I can't remember the last time I was so happy. We begin to laugh so hard that some people throw us some weird looks. But who cares? I finally feel free-
I stop in my tracks. The world is spinning. I try to breath but I just can't. My body is shaking.
"Hey! You alright!?" she says really scared.
I didn't even realize that I'm laying on the ground.
"Call...ambu...lance..." I try to tell her.
"Aiuto! Aiuto per favore! Qualcuno chiama un'ambulanza!" She screams while trying to stop her sobs.
It takes a few minutes till the ambulance arrives. When they arrive they put me on a stretcher and bring me to the hospital. Emma is still holding my hand and tries to assure me that everything is gonna be alright. But I know that it's just a lie.
"You asked me...why my...mother was so...w-worried when she realized...that I'm not home anymore...Well...I'm...dying, Emma..." I try to tell her even though I have to take some breaks between the words.
She begins crying and I try to wipe her tears away but I can't because the next thing I hear is the heart monitor announcing that my heart just stopped beating...And in that moment all I feel is happiness because my wish became true...
