Smoke'n'Booze

X.

Erin's POV

The next day I woke up, I didn't realize where I was at first. Then I remembered all what happened and I felt like shit. My bar - destroyed. My home - wrecked. I didn't know what to do.
I turned to find the side of the bed, where Chibs was sleeping the night  before, empty. Grabbing his pillow I refused to get up. Planning on staying in bed as long as I could, I fell back into a light sleep.
A soft knock on the door woke me up. "Erin? It's Layla. Are you here? Groaning silently, I got up and pulled on some random clothes on the floor - Chibs boxers and one of his shirts. "Come in!" Layla opened the door and came in. "Hey I haven't seen you the whole day, just wanted to check on you if you need anything..." I came out of the bedroom to the living room. My look must have said it all, because Layla looked at me with her mouth open wide. "I know I look like a crack whore right now... I just woke up..." "No, well you look like you had a rough day, what you clearly had... but damn.... how old are you?!" "43 - why?" "Damn... girl you know, everyone would buy a porn with you in it... you have some nice features there!" Dumbfounded I looked at her. "Well... thanks?" "No honestly, you are really good looking. Noone could tell that you are 43 years old, you could easily be my age and I am 31." I smiled at Layla. "Hun, you just made my day.", I laughed. Layla smiled. "Nonetheless you should go get dressed. I need your help if you don't mind." "Oh okay? How can I help you?" She filled me in, that this weekend there is a big party planned downstairs, with a lot of other charters of the Sons coming by. "And I suck at planning parties all on my own. Especially with food and drinks. Usually Rosie is helping with that, but she had to go to the hospital - bad appendix." "Oh shoot... poor girl... but yeah of course I help. If you help me on deciding what to wear. The clothes you gave me, I am not used to wear things like that..." Layla laughed and pointed at the duffle bag. "May I have a look?" "Sure, go ahead. I already took the undergarments into the bedroom. Filip emptied two drawers for me to storage my stuff." Layla looked at me astonished. "Oh boy... he is into you deep..." I smiled and went to the bedroom and put on some underwear and my favorite bra. Luckily I wore this one yesterday, so that expensive Victoria Secret thing wasn't burnt.
"Knock, knock. Here your clothes. I would like to see that top on you..." she stopped in her track. "You're sure you don't wanna try to be a pornstar? You would make a looooot of money..." "Nah I am good... besides, I don't think Filip wants to share." We laughed together at my little joke and I took the clothes from Layla and got dressed.

We went downstairs a short time later. I felt a  little insecure about Laylas choice of clothes on me, but I had no other choice, since I don't have anything else to wear. The studio was almost empty except of Ryan and two girls, already putting up some decorations. Ryan took a double look. "Is this...." "Ryan... my eyes are up here....", I pointed to my eyes. "Sorry boss... you look... uhm... different." "Good thing or bad thing?" He just smiled and gave me a thumbs up. Layla snickered and went to the office, getting some lists she already prepared. We agreed to look at them together beforehand, so we settled down at the bar and went through them. The next three hours we busied ourselves with stocking and rearranging the bar, putting up decorations and cleaning.

It was around 5PM when Happy and Layla's kids came by. Layla told me during the time we spent together that she adopted the two kids of Opie, because their mother was dead, too. The other one was hers. The three kids seated themselves at a table and started their homework.  Happy came over and kissed Laylas cheek. He wanted to do the same to me, but stopped dead in his doing. "Jesus... Erin?" I smiled at him. "Yes, I am still me, you know." I almost forgot about the clothes I was wearing. "I have to admit, you look like Gemma at first... but... nevermind...you look less intimidating. Chibs eyes are going to fall out. You look hot Momma." I grinned at him. Happy decided to help us.

I busied myself behind the bar, Layla and Happy were in the kitchen, preparing some snacks, when the guys came in. I was crouching behind the bar, counting the beer bottles. "Where is everybody?",Tig shouted. Chibs chuckled. "Ya already miss the little pornstars Tiggy?" I got up from my crouching position and put a couple of beers on the counter. Not saying anything, I let my hair fall in front of my face, checking my list. "What the...", Tig said.
Suddenly I felt arms sneak around my hip. "Love, do ya wanna give ma a heart attack?" "Why? It's just me, good old Erin." "No, this... yar clothes... damn woman... ya look like a snack...", he whispered in my ear and placed a kiss underneath on my neck. I giggled and turned around to him, so he could see me. Chibs whistled low and so did the other guys, too. "Oh come on... I am wearing nothing special. Why are you guys so shocked?" Layla and Happy appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, Haps arm around Laylas shoulders. "I told you Momma..." he said with his deep and raspy voice. "You look exactly like  Gemma." I just rolled my eyes. "Fine. Has anyone a picture of that woman? I would like to see my dead twin." Chibs didn't say anything he just looked at me with wide eyes. "Filip? You're alright?" Chibs nodded, still eyeing me. Tig came closer and kissed my cheek. He handed me a picture. "Here. This is Gemma." I looked at the picture and swallowed hard. "Fuck." The similarities between the woman and me were breathtaking. "Ok, now I am scared... except for the nose, I look...." Chibs took away the picture. "Stop comparing yarself. Yar far away from being her.", he murmured. He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me gently.
When he pulled away, I saw hurt, sadness but also love reflecting in his eyes. Not wanting to push the matter, I just nodded and gave him a weary smile.

This night I went to bed the first time without Chibs. He stayed at the church, talking about business with his brothers. I decided to go upstairs on my own, because all the cleaning and sorting out stuff made me tired. In the early morning hours though, I heard Chibs coming upstairs. Laying on my side, my back facing his side of the bed, I heard him come in and sitting on the bed.
"Erin, I know yar awake.", he sighed. I turned around on my back, looking at the ceiling. "I am sorry, love." I didn't say a word, I just kept staring at the ceiling. "It's just... I was hit off guard... I knew there were some similarities... but... dammit... I just didn't see tha..." Sitting up silently, I grabbed the blanket tightly and wrapped it around me. "You sound like it is a bad thing...", I whispered, afraid of what he wants to say next. "Before you say anything else Filip... just tell me if you want me gone... I- I'll go... tomorrow I can go back to the bar anyway and I- I'll see from there where it goes then...", I said on the brim of tears. Chibs turned around, an expression of shock in his face. "Do ya wanna go?" I shook my head no. I came to the conclusion the last couple of days that I needed that man, I love him. And I loved the people around him. The mere thought of leaving all that behind, shattered my heart to pieces. For Filip I would do anything, even if this means leaving the Scottish man I learn to love more and more over each day. Chibs crawled to me over the bed. "Why do ya think, I want ya to leave?", he asked, leaning against the headboard next to me. "I-I saw the look in your eyes when everyone talked about how much I am like that other woman." Tears were falling down, moisturizing my cheeks.  "Love, yar far from being like her... she cared, she loved her family, yes. We were her family... but she was blind ta the truth and she destroyed a lot of her family ta get what she thought she needed ta keep her family safe. Yar never like her. And I am thankful for tha." I looked at him, his eyes tearing up too. "Come here, love. I don't want ya ta go. Yar ma missing piece ta ma puzzle." He pulled me onto his lap and held me close, while I cried into his shoulder.
This night Chibs opened up and told me everything about the clubs history. Everything about Gemma, Jax and even Opie.