BREATHLESS

Chapter 2

I want you to have sex with me dear,  its very simple; you are a big girl and one that works at a bar for that matter,  so such offers aren't  new to you. 

I can't believe it sir, I said in between sobs, you watched me transform from a 9 year child  who didn't have anything to eat and would always come to your cafe' to help out with washing dishes in exchange for food and snacks,  to a 14 years teenager who worked part time for you' everyday after the end of the day school session,  and then to a 16 year old who quit school to work full time for you , and finally to 20 year old adult standing right before you, surprise you look at me who is practically suppose to be like a daughter to you and ask me to have sex with you sir, how can you request such of me.

Please  drop that holier than thou attitude and those emotional blackmail you trying to use on me its won't work, you not some virgin of any sort Alex, for the records you work at a bar' a poor needy girl who can do anything for money, to you i believe sex is like a thing of exchange,   so stop the pretence,  I won't think any less of you; if you tell me when and where will be convenient  for you. 

"I work at a bar",  Mr Robin but only for the sake of raising more money to sort my personal issues out' like you well pointed out,  I am a poor needy girl who can do anything for money,  but definitely not sell my body for it,  I don't mind sleeping in the street but the last thing I can do is let petty men like you take advantage of my need and desperation,  I will do just fine.  thanks for all you have done for me in the past.

Girls of these days and their ego,  is okay if you don't want the offer,  please leave my office at once; I have other things to do.

'Ma seniorita' I heard Jeff call out to me as I dashed out of the cafe,  I couldn't believe it,  just like that I lost my job without achieving the goal I had set out for myself,  how would i be able to pay the bank and that bossy man whose lawyer has being coming to give me notice to pay up before the due date; save he would have me thrown in jail. My head at these time was already heavy and aching, eyes all red from crying so much,  heart beating fast,  body all weak and feeble but my feet won't stop running,  maybe I was trying to take my self to finishing point,  I wanted to get exhausted so much I pass out but its wasn't happening.

Mum!!!  I screamed in my head,  how could you let me go through all these hardship,  i didn't even get to experiience childhood as other kids did,  all these responsibility is killing me so much I can't take it anymore, o wept bitterly,  I only eat once a day at the most twice, only have two pairs of pant and two shirt yet I won't be able to save your house mum,  the home you inherited from your parents, same house  where we shared all the happy memories in,  I am sorry mum,  I am sorry; I kept mouthing sorry  to myself while I ran,  with an increase in pace after every sorry.

With eyes shut tight reminiscing on all the happy moments myself,  mum, dad and my elder brother Jackson God bless his soul spent together,  its was just like yesterday, we were so happy together Jackson and I would fight alot over little things and dad will take my side,  while mum took jacks side,  how we would split up while playing our favorite game.  Friday nights were the best cause its was always filled with so many recreational activities.

"Can you watch were you going to young lady" I heard someone say to me in a rather harsh voice, just after colliding into something so hard, its felt like a rock.  Opening my eyes slowly with kneels already so weak from running so far,  I came in contact with the owner of the voice. 

I am very sorry' I didn't mean to, I wasn't watching, I am very sorry I said with a shaky voice,  I am very sorry I pleaded.

Keep your stupid sorry to yourself, I don't think i need it anyway,  just watch were you going to next time; to avoid pumping into innocent people,  besides who closes their eyes while using   a public place such as this, only stupid girls like you I guess.

I already said sorry" Mr isn't that enough,  besides if you were cautious enough you would have avoided pumping into me, just as every other innocent person who used this path today did and don't insult me okay'or brand me among the stupid girls cause you don't know my story; I said with tears streaming down my eyes. 

I am sorry for my outburst,  I am really sorry I said running off, what was wrong with me?  why did I take out my frustration on that man, yes  he wasn't all that nice to me too; i said to myself in a bid to not feel too guilty for my actions,  but I guess that line didn't work out well, cause I wished I wasn't that way with him,  I should know better than dishing out to others what they served me.