Iris

Chapter One

"Iris", my mother called. "Iris, focus. The water is too cold. He can't handle it." Her voice echoes through my head and I turn the water off. I stare at the tub and look at the yellow dirt on the surface and I can't help but think that I'm that yellow dirt. A completely useless thing, that causes nothing but trouble. The world would be better without me. My baby would be better without me. I know I shouldn't think that way but I can't help it. All of my mistakes led me here. I could've done more, become more but I'm in a place I swore I'd never end up at. A place I truly loathe.

"Are you okay?" My mother asks with all sincerity in the world but I couldn't help but notice the disappointment in her eyes. Disappointment filled with pity.

My mother definitely looked older than she actually was. Sun burns and wrinkles covered every part of her face.  Her once raven black hair was dull and held no life. Her clothes had tiny holes inside them and her shoes were older than me. She looked so skinny. Hasn't she been eating? My poor mother. I promised I'd save her. I promised I would make all this better. I promised that she would never have to suffer again. I promised her the world.

I want to scream. I want to punch something. I want to kill him and then spend the rest of my life in jail. It'd definitely be worth it. I'd have done that if it wasn't for Jack. I knew he'd never forgive me.

"Why don't you lay down for a while and I'll give Jack his bath." I wanted to say no, I couldn't have my mother taking care of my child. It wouldn't be fair to her. He was my responsibility, he was mine. "It's okay. You should sleep. You haven't been to sleep in two days and I don't have to go to work."I simply nod, not having enough energy to argue.

As I walk by the living room, I see a reflection of myself. My once perfect body was replaced by baby fat I had yet not lost, the bags under my eyes had completely overshadowed my face and my eyes are blood shot, like I was high or something. I wish that was the case. I wish this was something my stoned brain came up with and everything would go back to normal after a quick shower and a nap.

How did I get here? How did my life turn out this way?

3 years ago

"I'm sorry Iris, I really am. You deserve much better than this." I know its not my mother's fault but a part of blamed her. I knew she always did her best to provide for me but as I look around the two room house that we call home, I felt embarrassed. The living room, kitchen and bedroom were in the same place. I had to sleep next to my mother for 18 years of my life. I had to ignore the smell of trash or the subtle oder of the bathroom. I hated that fucking bathroom. It didn't even have a shower. Hell, the concept of a shower was forigen to me until I visited a friend's house. I was pathetic. I was poor. I hated that. I hated the clothes my mother got from donations. I hated the food that my mother got from leftovers at some stupid restaurant. I hated that I was the only person in my class that didn't have a father. I hated that fucking two room house. I hated myself for being so weak. I hated my mother for trying to make it all seem okay. It wasn't okay. None of this will ever be okay. I had to get out of here. I had to get my mother out of here.

"It's fine mom. I kinda like the taste now." Fuck that. I hated this stupid leftovers that I had to eat. But you don't tell your mother that. I could see the sadness written on her face. The desperation in her eyes. I wanted to make it better.

"I got into medschool." I was determined to escape this life and a girl has two ways of doing that. Brains or Beauty. Not saying that I wasn't pretty, but that could fade in five, ten or fifteen years. I needed a cure not a bandage. Hence I couldn't help my mother out, I needed to study. She understood that but that didn't help my enormous guilt.

"I'm so proud of you. I knew all of this would work out. That's why I named you Iris, because you are my hope." I simply nodded in response. I could see my mother was truly happy. I could see that for once, she actually thought we could escape.

"I'm gonna meet some friends. Do you mind if I go?" I felt guilty that I couldn't celebrate with her but I didn't wanna stay in that house a minute longer than I needed to. It just reminded me of what I was.... what I am. "Sure. Have fun with your friends." "Thanks Mom, love you."

When I arrived everyone was waiting for me. That's when I saw John. I never had the courage to tell my friends about  my situation. I didn't want to be judged and I definitely didn't wanna be pitted. John was the son of my mother's nasty employer. I've seen him once while picking up some stuff from my mother, but I never forget a face. His mother was a trophy wife. I made this assumption seeing that she was twenty years younger than her husband and had the body of a supermodel. I knew that he probably wouldn't recognize me but I was still nervous.

"Hi guys." "Irrrrrris." Wyatt said while giving me one of the world's biggest bear hugs. Wyatt was tall with broad shoulders and had beautiful brown eyes. He was really handsome but I would never tell him that. I wouldn't be able to handle his ego. "Wyaaaaaat" I replied with the same enthusiasm and gave him the same bear hug." Get a room you two." Emily, my bestfriend ever since middle school. She was like a sister to me. She was small and had gorgeous blonde curls. " I missed you too Em." I replied pulling away from Wyatt which earned me a small groan. I gave her a quick hug and we started jumping up and down for no apparent reason. Then I looked up to Hunter, he winked at me which caused me to blush. I didn't fail to notice the smirk forming on his lips earning him a glare from me.

"Iris, this is my boyfriend. John." Boyfriend??? When did she get a boyfriend? Why didn't she tell me? "Don't be so surprised." She said reading the astonishment written on my face. "I'm not surprised." An obvious lie, but wouldn't you be surprised if your bestfriend started dating your mother's boss. "Yeah, right." Great. Hunter decides to speak NOW. "Hi, I'm Iris. Nice to meet you." Nice to meet you? Now they'll definitely know something is up. Why was I so formal? Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

"Don't I know you from somewhere, Iris?"

A/N

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