30 November 2017, Thursday.
It was my final day with Leva.
'Wear is Leva?' I asked myself.
I was having a fun chat with my friend Abigail as Leva walked up to me, with her right hand entangled with her girlfriend's.
"Hey!" she exclaimed towards the entire group.
'I told her today is my last day... Why would she be with her girlfriend? I want to be with her. Alone. Have fun! It's our last day for goodness sake! Lancelot and Danny aren't even coming to school today. That was a serious let down... We won't have the fun I intended for us to have at this rate.' I thought.
"Hi." I said dully.
(I think I tried to be enthusiastic, but when Leva asked me if I wanted to come with her to Daisy's friends, I thought for a moment and said no. Because I thought it wouldn't have fun.)
Leva was standing there with her girlfriend. Awkwardly. Probably noticing that I had thrown a superfluous cold shoulder towards her (she was probably confused) when her girlfriend, Daisy, suggested they went onto the school field with her friends.
Leva automatically obliged and turned towards me after she almost turned around exclaiming while I was trying to drown her out by talking to others, "Hey! Masego! You coming?" She asked with a questioning tone and look. Yet her eyes seemed to have been singing a sad song to mine.
"Uh... No, I'm going to stay here with-", I don't think I remember what I said.
All I remember is seeing her leave.
Automatically leaving to the field.
Walking towards Daisy's friends.
Leaving me behind.
I still remember the atmosphere. The sunny sky. And the cold feeling in my heart I continued to ignore.
She turned her back on me, and walked off.
Happily? I don't know...
Maybe it's my fault... I should've run after her.
Although she had still walked off. Chatting away with Daisy.
I was not envious.
Ever since they started dating I had been the third wheel.
You have no idea how that feels. (Maybe)
Until I finally made the decision to hang with the boys. (Danny, Lancelot, Josh, etc.) (I don't remember the other's names.)
(Please note these aren't the people's real names for obvious reasons.
And once before that, Danny and Leva were dating. I was a third wheel to them aswell. But we had loads of fun throwing berries at each other.
Okay, back to the story.
Alright, yes I did think: 'This is my last day! I want to have fun! And I will not have fun with those weirdos Daisy has as friends. No way!' But... It was my last day, and I really did want to have fun!
I don't know what I was thinking... But my mind was focused on having a great day similar to that week's Tuesday when we were with the boys and decided to leave the school and go down the road and up again, to go buy 7Stars, drink it and go mad, but that 'fun' wouldn't exist had I went with Leva. She's with her gf. And I'd be an outcast. A third wheel. Once again.
Why would I think that.
I despise that decision to this day. But I guess it was destined to be so.
