Daryl Dixon x Reader One-shots

Suicidal!Reader x Daryl

The wind clawed at your clothes, the fabric snapping loudly against your skin. Your hair blew wildly around your head and thin strands flung across your eyes, cutting your vision into strips. Despite the hair in your eyes you had no trouble seeing what lay in front of you, the sight of which brought nervousness into the pit of your stomach.

Was this it? Is this what you wanted? Your mind raced as you stared down the edge of the cliff on which you stood. Jagged rocks jutted out of the side of the cliff, contrasted by soft flora which grew alongside them. Your heart pounded loudly in your chest. One step and that was it. Everything would end.
Everything would end.

Guilt tugged at your core as you let out a shaky breath, suppressing a sob. If you jumped they would never find your body – at least not before a walker devoured it. Nobody would know what happened to you. Not Carol. Not Michonne. Not Daryl.

A small tear escaped at the thought of him only to be swept away by the harsh wind. Daryl... you'd be leaving him behind. Of course you'd thought of this before you managed to slip away from Alexandria unnoticed. A big part of you wanted to crush the man in a hug while you cried into his chest and whispered how much you loved him, how much you would miss him – you wanted to say goodbye – but the other part of you knew that doing this would only make you less sure of your decision. And doubt was the last thing you needed. So you simply left. You would die without ever telling him how you felt. But that was okay, because it would make things easier for him.

You took a small step closer to the edge; any further and you'd go over. Closing your eyes and breathing slowly, you clutched the locket around your neck. It had been a gift from your sister merely a few months before she was ripped into shreds by the undead. That felt like the day your world ended. Your thumb stroked the delicate metal of the engraved locket, the words 'always a sister, forever a friend' slightly faded already from the countless times you ran your fingers across the lettering. Bringing the locket to your lips, you placed a delicate kiss to the cold surface before removing it from your neck. You placed it carefully on the ground. Maybe they'd find it someday... maybe they'd know what had happened.

Your eyes took in the warmth of the fading light of the sky. Bright hues of orange and yellow turned the sky into flames and fire. It was beautiful. It was a beautiful thing to see before your death. Tears flowed steadily down your face now, carried away by the wind almost instantly. This was it.

Inching one foot over the edge, you said your final goodbyes to the world you once knew. The nearby trees rustled, indicating movement, but you paid it no attention. Whatever walker was heading your way wouldn't reach you in time before you leapt to your end.

The wind seemed to pull you forward, luring you to the mighty fall, as if it were daring you to take your remaining foot off the cliff's edge. It needn't dare. You placed all your weight onto the foot without grounding and your body leaned forward, your eyes shut tight. Fingers clawed at your body from all sides, pulling you down as your stomach dropped like a stone.

Except you didn't go down.

Your eyes snapped open as your body was violently pulled away from the edge – away from the peace of death that you so deeply craved.

"No! No! No" Your throat stung with the force of your scream and your eyes burned. It got you. The walker got you. You were going to be torn into shreds just like your sister. Refusing to surrender, you drove your fists into the first flesh you could find, willing for it to let you go.

"Hey! Hey! Stop! It's me!" A voice cried out, making your eyes snap up to its owner. His face was covered mostly by his hair, but you knew immediately who it was. Whether it was to your relief or to your annoyance, you did not know.

"Daryl?" You questioned weakly, puzzled by his sudden appearance. "How did you find me? Did you follow –"

"What the hell are you doin', y/n? Ya tryna kill yourself?" He was yelling now, but you weren't sure if it was anger of if he was trying to yell over the wind.

"I... I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore, D. I can't." The heavy draft turned into a gale around the two of you, Daryl's leather vest flapping angrily against his thin shirt.

"So? You were just gonna leave me? Leave without me?" A tight knot formed in the back of your throat at the pain in his voice, and you willed yourself not to cry.

"What would it matter? You don't need me! Nobody does!"

"I need ya, y'n! You're all I got!" His voice was thick with hurt as he looked you, mouth slightly parted. Daryl's face showed both pain and disbelief, both fighting for dominance.

"Last time somebody needed me I got them killed," you said softly, so soft that you thought it was inaudible, but you knew he heard you by the way his face softened. Then it was if the wind had suddenly stopped. Confusion prodded at your brain before you realized that Daryl had wrapped his arms around you, sheltering you from the harsh wind. But you didn't hug back. You couldn't.

"Let me go," you muttered weakly despite wanting to wrap your arms around him and never let him go. He only seemed to hold you tighter.

"I said let me go!" More determined than ever, you placed your arms between your two bodies and pushed with as much force as you could muster, sending him stumbling backwards. The look of hurt that crossed his face sent your heart shattering like glass, each shard piercing you further.

"I'm sorry," you whispered before suddenly turning around and sprinting towards the cliff's edge.

"No!" The volume and force Daryl's voice exceeded that of the wind, and just as you teetered over the edge, his large hands pulled you back to safety. Crying freely now, you slammed your hands angrily into the man's chest.

"Just let me die! Just let me die! Just..." Sobs ripped through your body as Daryl clutched you to his chest, cutting you off. Slowly sinking to the ground, he held you tight as your body shook and convulsed with sadness. This time you hugged back, and you held him tight as you cried. It was an ugly cry – the type where you can't breathe and your face contorts each time you let out an earth-shattering sob.

By the time your sobs had turned into sniffs, you had realized that he had been crrying too. Daryl's eyes were swollen and red, and you carefully placed a hand to his face.

"I'm sorry," you apologized weakly, guilt tearing at your insides. "I'm sorry," you repeated. You had never meant for him to find out, and you above all else had never meant to hurt him. "I'm sor-"

His lips met yours, sending warmth down your spine. Nothing seemed to matter anymore; nothing except for him. His lips parted slightly and you breathed him in, deepening the kiss. The emotion behind that single moment seemed to outweigh the intense grief and pain that dominated every thought in your brain. It felt as if someone had finally turned on a light in a room that had been dark for many years.

When you finally pulled away, you suddenly noticed your heart beating like a hummingbird's.

"Don't leave," he begged in your ear, making your stomach flutter. You trained your eyes on the locket which lay on the ground a few feet away from you as you contemplated his words. It still hurt. You wanted to go.

"Why won't you let me go? I'm going to die eventually. Why not let it be at my own hands?" Your eyes burned while you avoided his gaze, knowing full well that looking into his eyes would just send you into tears again.

He hesitated for a moment before he spoke.

"I can't do this without ya. Don't make me live without ya," The man's voice broke and ended in a whisper, and your eyes met his. After a moment of letting his words sink in you gave a small nod of agreement, to which he responded with a small laugh of relief choked with tears.

"Okay," you confirmed and wiped at your wet face.

"Okay," Daryl repeated before clutching you to his chest once again.