In the Open | Harry Styles | Sequel to Undercover

9.

Harry

"Harry Edward Styles!"

Fuck. I can hear the anger in her voice and feel it in the air as she steps into our house and yells for me.

I swallow the massive lump that has found its way to my throat and move cautiously towards the sound of her voice. Her eyes flash with anger when she sees me and suddenly she's in front of me. Her eyes are red, rimmed with obvious tears and my heart breaks a little as I know I've done this to her.

"How fucking dare you! How could you?" She screams as she hits her hands against my chest, her anger with me seeping from every pore. Her hits don't hurt and they are out of frustration so I let her continue until she tires and dissolves into a mess of tears.

I gently grip her wrists and take her hands to her sides.

"I was trying to help, you were so unhappy and this was something I could help with."

"So you bought my way in, exactly like I asked you not to?" Her voice is even, cold, and completely void of emotion. 

I stare at her gaped mouthed with no clue what to say. I don't often find myself speechless but I know anything I say will only make this worse so I stay quiet.

She stares back at me, her tears sliding down her cheeks and her eyes full of disappointment. 

"I'm sorry, El."

"Sorry you did it or sorry you got caught?" She asks. "There's a difference."

I don't know how to answer the question. I wanted to help her in her job quest and I had succeeded in that. 

"My only regret is that I went behind your back, I'm sorry, El. It won't happen again."

"You're right. It won't."

She brushes past me and runs up the stairs, I trail behind her not understanding exactly what she means. It's made completely evident to me when I walk into the room to find her digging out her suitcase from the closet. 

"El, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing Harry? I'm leaving. I'm going to stay with Kambrie I literally can't look at you right now without wanting to scream and throw things and that is neither healthy nor productive so I'm removing myself from the situation."

"You'll come back though, right?"

I hear my voice, dripping with desperation but I don't care, I am desperate. El was the best thing to ever happen to me and I know that. I can't lose her. 

She doesn't reply to me as she shoves her clothes into the luggage. I notice then that she is packing for what appears to be much longer than one night. She carefully avoids throwing in any of my shirts that she had claimed for her own and I feet my anxiety begin to grow. 

"El, promise you'll come back when you've calmed down so we can talk about this? Please?"

My voice breaks as I reach for her hand, stopping her from her packing and making her look up at me.

"I don't know Harry." 

My throat felt like sandpaper as I choked back my sobs. Was this it? Four years of friendship and pining, six months of complete bliss, all ruined by my one decision? I'd been trying to help her. I hadn't done anything out of malice, I had simply wanted her to be successful. My knees gave out under my weight as I fell to sit on the mattress of my bed, our bed. 

"You have to come back to me, El. I need you, I love you."

"I love you too, Harry. Right now though, I don't like you very much at all."

She zipped the suitcase and struggled to pull it off the bed before heading towards the door and the stairs and out of his life. I couldn't bear to watch her struggle so I reached for the handle.

"Stop, let me do this on my own. I know that's a foreign concept for you so I'm not sure why I'm surprised." She spat, her words like venom.

I recoil and bite my lip, tears building behind my eyes as I watched her leave me. 

The door slammed behind her as she left and I watched through the window as she shoved the suitcase into the back of her car and her brake lights disappeared into the night. 

I turn back to face my house, before it had felt cozy and inviting, even when I was alone. Now though, with her presence missing it feels cold and lonely. 

I cut out the lights of the living room and drag my feet as I wander back upstairs to the bedroom.

I climb into the bed and roll myself up, when I am as small as I can make myself I let my walls down and allow my emotions to break through. 

What am I supposed to do now?

I felt alone, I felt broken, and I felt devastated. I can't imagine life without El, my El.

"She'll come back." I told myself. 

I had to believe that. I had to cling to the fact that I know her. I know she will need space but that ultimately, her kind and caring nature will bring her back to me. 

I believe in our love and if she is half as invested in this as I am, she won't be able to stay away.

Even in just the short time she had been gone my demeanor had changed. I felt unwell, I felt panicked, and I physically felt like I couldn't breathe without her here. 

I clung to my phone, my heart taking another blow every time I checked it and saw her face on my screen without her name in a message accompanying it. 

I scrolled through my contacts and found the one I was looking for, selecting it quickly before I could change my mind.

The phone rang for what felt like hours before a female voice traveled through the speaker.

"Hello?"

"Mum."

"Hi, Harry! It's so good to hear from you! How are you going?"

"It's shit, mum. I really messed up and El's left for the night to stay with a friend and everything's a mess and I've got no idea what to do."

"What've you done Harry?" 

I sigh, sniffling a bit before responding to my mother. 

"I pulled a few strings to get her, her new job. She had asked me not to interfere but she was struggling and I wanted to help. I guess she found out today, it was her first day. She came home angry and upset and then she left. I don't know what to do."

"Well, she probably feels like you don't believe in her. She told you she wanted to do this alone, and I talked to her about that job, she thought she had it, then you went behind her back and now she can't even be proud of herself for the job because she doesn't know if she got it on her own accord or because of who her boyfriend is."

"There's a little more." I say, deflated. " I agreed to move my management to Goldman when my contract ends."

"Christ, Harry. So you basically bought her the job. No wonder she's upset with you. I'm upset with you. You know how much this meant to her."

"I know, mum. I fucked up. Tell me what to do."

AN: I updated! Hope you enjoy!

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ILY

Sav