We all fall down-But it's better

Chapter One

(AN) bit of a warning before you read this series, there will be mentions of drug abuse and addiction. So if you're sensitive to that sort of stuff I'd be careful reading this.

Anton Verloc was 38, going on 39 when he had his first mid-life crisis. He had suspected it would come sometime, seeing as though Anton didn't suspect he'd live past 55. But there he was, sliding down a bobby-popper to safety, doubting everything. It could be the lack of drugs in his body talking, but he felt extremely guilty. That downer that snuck into the labs to steal a bloody bottle of cod liver oil had reprimanded the scientist. Anton felt stupid for letting his words get to him, but he couldn't help it.

"This has been the longest ride ever," he mumbled to himself. Anton didn't know where he was going, he just wanted to get away. He could end up in Ratholm and he'd be okay with it. Finally after which seemed forever, he popped out of the bobby popper onto a street. Anton looked around him, it seemed he was in Maidenholm. He let out a grunt of annoyance and began to trudge back to Hayworth labs.
The entire village stared at the scientist in disbelief and star struck. Anton doesn't go out into town as much as he did before he went on his meds. He couldn't actually take joy, he was deathly allergic, so he takes antidepressants he makes in his lab. Though recently he's found himself abusing his meds, which resulted in him isolating himself.

"I need to get my fix, then I'll forget this ever happened." Anton told reluctantly told himself, he didn't actually want to go back on his meds, he just didn't want to feel the way he did right now. He didn't want to feel the gut wrenching guilt of the lives he ruined because of his work, he didn't want it. As the scientist walked the streets of Maidenholm the rainbows and bright colours faded. Everything that was once happy was now terrifyingly sad, a man was eating a dead rat, a little old lady was splashing in a puddle of what looked like blood.

"Jesus, has everything always been this way?" He asked himself, "I'd hate to find out what I've been putting in my morning coffee." Anton continued to walk the streets of the village, then finally he made his way back to the labs, where he collapsed into his swivel chair. He pulled out a drawer in his desk to reveal a stash of his medication, they were inhalers. Anton took out one and shook it a few times to get it ready then held it up to his mouth, but he stopped.

Constable Morris, his personal guard who was standing beside him, shifted his attention towards the scientist. "Aren't you going to take that, Sir?" Anton thought for a bit. He really did hate feeling guilty, that horrible gut wrenching feeling. He thought about what he's done to many innocent people, Anton didn't know why it was so hard to take his meds. Then it him: I can fix this, I can fix all of this. I just need to keep a clear head.

"N-No, I can't!" He suddenly stood up and pulled the entire drawer of inhalers out and chucked it across the room, "I don't need this-this trash!" Constable Morris shook his head and went after the drawer.

"You're only acting like this because you haven't had your fix!" It was true, a part of withdrawals is increased irritability. But he wouldn't give in. Anton looked around for an answer. His answer was the big red button on his desk. "Sir, you do not want to do that." Morris warned, he set down the drawer and walked closer to the desk,

"Oh believe, me I do!" Then, Anton smashed the button, which signaled shock waves to the Constable. He didn't let go until Morris fell unconscious. "I need to get out of here before the guard downstairs find out about this," Anton mumbled to himself. He quickly rushed towards his secret entrance to his 'lair' and ran down the stairs. He was greeted with more guilt when he saw the test chambers with suffering people in them. Suddenly, his head began to throb violently

"Ah fuck, why now?" He opened his eyes to reveal a frail tall women with bright red hair standing in front of him. She wore no mask and had sadness in her eyes. Anton sighed and massaged his temples,

"Hello, mother," he grumbled at the woman in front of him. The woman crossed her arms and shook her head,

"You blocked me out again, your own mother," she nagged at the man, Anton rolled his eyes and turned away. His mother scoffed at the man, "And your hair, what did you do to it?!" She put her hand in Anton's silver hair, to which Anton responded with jerking away. He let out a grunt and turned towards his mother,

"I blocked you out because you're supposed to be dead!" He explained to the ghost, "And I bleached my hair, mother, because I hated it before!" His head felt like it was going to explode. He felt the gut wrenching feeling again, only this time it wasn't guilt. He clutched his hand over his stomach and ran to the bearish trash bin to throw up his lunch.

"You have to do something, Tony!" His mother began, "You have power over the joy, you can stop the production of it!" Anton stood up and wiped the vomit off of his cheek.

"It's not that easy, if I do stop production of joy the executive committee will kill me," suddenly one of the downers in the glass cell started to bang on the glass, and for once in his life Anton did something good. He smashed the big red button that said 'release' and than ran for the hills, and by hills he hid in Sally's old office until the downers evacuated.

"What will you do?" Mother Verloc asked in her thick welsh accent that matched Her son's. Anton sighed and massaged his temples again, he obviously couldn't stop making joy without approval, and he couldn't straight up tell the village to stop taking it. "Is there anyone in charge of this godawful town?" It then hit him,

"I could go to the general, he might listen."

"Then lets scurry off,"