blue eyes

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It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it's even harder to give up when it's everything you've ever wanted

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It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it's even harder to give up when it's everything you've ever wanted.

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"I'm gay."

As soon as those words left his mouth and he saw the change in his parents' faces made Noah wish he would have kept his mouth shut. His mother looked as if she was going to cry, and his father...he was livid. Whatever courage it was that sparked Noah to utter those words vanished and his hands trembled as he stood there helpless before his parents. He waited for a reply from either of them, and finally his dad spoke.

"Get out."

"I-I.."

"GET OUT!"

"Dad, please!"

"Are you deaf too now? I said GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Bending a little to the his right, Noah's father grasped for the nearest thing he could throw. Unfortunately for Noah that happened to be the glass lamp on the nightstand. Noah realized what was going to happen too late and his feeble attempt to protect himself by turning his face to the side didn't protect him much. The glass broke against his skin, turquoise shards pierced his arms and right cheek. His mother screamed at his father but to Noah it all sounded muffled and blurred. He took one last look at his family before him. His father stood there breathing hard looking at Noah with utter disgust. Behind him was Noah's mother, she was the family member who was closest to Noah yet here she stood. Her eyes downcast refusing to look at her son. In that moment, Noah could feel his heart break. So he did what was told of him to do, he got out. And he didn't stop running until he was well past his house, past the neighborhood he grew up in, away from the two people who should have loved him unconditionally.

When he finally did stop running he found himself in the park. It was only when he dropped to his knees did he allow himself to cry. Great sobs racked his body and his tears rolled down his cheeks and some fell into the cuts on his face and it caused his wounds to sting. But Noah didn't care, that pain was nothing compared to the pain he was feeling inside. His chest burned and he clutched his hands to it. It was 10:13 p.m. and there was no one in the park, and even if there had been someone Noah would've cried just the same.

What did I expect? Noah thought bitterly to himself. That they would react with hugs and tears of acceptance? I should have known better..

I should have known better.

Those were the words Noah repeated over and over in his thoughts. All his life he knew how his parents felt about homosexuals. It was stupid of him to even think for a second that they would've been accepting. He heard the conversations about how it was "unnatural", how it was disgusting. It's not as if his mom and dad weren't restricted by faith either. They didn't believe in God, in any god.

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