Aware

He was aware...

He had watched her for a long time ever since the first day he met her. He was aware of her every movement; the way she frowned when something wasn't right, the way she smiled when tasting her favorite sweets, the way she cried when they failed to save a town from a Grimm attack. He had it all memorized...

Oscar Pine was well aware of his feelings for the said girl with her crimson black hair and sliver eyes carved into his mind...

He was aware...

But that was all he could do...

'Nothing good would come of it...' a saddened voice that was always within him said to himself, ever since he first found out of his feelings for the said girl...

He tried to find loopholes in everything the wise voice within him said, but unfortunately for him, he had not found a single one...

He did not know how much time he had left, or if he had any at all. Ozpin said to him that their souls and consciousness would end up merging. In other words, he would be gone, never to be Oscar again...

Would he become Ozpin? Would he stay as Oscar but just with vast knowledge? Or would they become a new entity entirely? Or would he just...disappear? Those thoughts would haunt him for days, even months. However, he would let them slide when, once again, the voice inside him intervened, telling him it was unwise for him to worry about the future. Even so, he still found himself wondering about these things from time to time...

Still, he was aware...

They had become close – the silver eyed girl and him. From simple acquaintances, to training buddies, to close friends, to something even closer but far from what he wanted. He knew it wasn't brother-sisterly love, though he liked to think that it was. He liked to shatter his own hopes and dreams because...

'Nothing good would come of it...' he reminded himself each and every time he felt his chest tighten from the simple sight of her...

He neglected that he felt jealous when she got too close with Jaune for a mission that involved the two of them only, and they returned closer than ever. It helped that their teams teased them about it...it really 'helped'...

He was aware...

That she had come to rely on him more and more, not on the professor inside him, but the real him. During their battles together, he successfully had all her styles memorized to a point that she clearly noticed and used in her advantage to create battle tactics. They had battles hand in hand as if they knew each other longer than she knew her team. Even in personal aspects, she began to rely on him. When she got horrible nightmares about Salem, she would seek him for comfort, and when she got into fights with her team or sister, she would seek him to be her ears and voice of reason. Unfortunately, all that did...hurt him even more...

He liked to fool himself, telling himself that she would be happy with someone like Jaune or if she found someone like Ren maybe she could be happy. All these thoughts caused great sadness to the wise but cruel man inside him. He liked to fool himself saying that he would be okay if she loved someone else, if she hugged someone else, if she looked with loving eyes at someone else, if she kissed someone else. Anyone that wasn't – shouldn't be him...

In all his time with all of them, he had become close to only to few: Jaune, Ruby and surprisingly Weiss...

Jaune was his brotherly support, the brother he never had. All of his boy troubles he would go to him, even to hang out. His first overdose of alcohol was with Jaune, and he voiced his concerns that he may disappear. Jaune said that he would never forgive Ozpin if he did that, more so after what had happened with Pyrrha, which was something Jaune had told him in detail, and Oscar would always resent Ozpin for that. Jaune made him feel like he had family...