Blazing Red

Chapter Two: Life, Change and Reality?

What if life isn't just about existence. What if it's more then that? Maybe it's about it about everything, with that. Maybe it's about you. Maybe you're important, because everyones life, has a purpose, everyone's life has a meaning. In you're life, you're the one controlling it, you're the one making mistakes and fixing it.

Life isn't just about surviving, and it never has been. It's about living in that moment and realizing that everyone has a purpose for being here. That buzz, and butterflies that fill you when you see or do something you love. It's about the thrill, and sights that make you just want to sit and stare forever.

Believe me, the thought of dying, and being taken away from everything stirs panic in me to no end. Life it's self is such a mystery that makes you constantly wonder what could go wrong? It makes you stop and think, about everything you have never wondered about. Have you ever stopped to smell the roses? Red, pink, white? My particular favorite is orange. It's not common, rare, and makes me curious how there can be something so beautiful and something so horrifying in life.

Not everything is about getting to the finish line. Its not all about when you get there, its about how you do it. Every moment, every step you take adds to how your future will turn out in the end. We all have a purpose and our own special journey. We can't compare ourselves to other people around us because their lives are completely different. So maybe take a look around sometime and realize that not everything is a race. It's not all about winning or losing, it's about taking it step by step.

I have never understood the concept of life, why we have it and what it means. It is a complex adventure we take every morning we wake up. We never know what life will hold that day, but we manage to get through it.

I don't want to keep living if I'm not happy the way I do it. There's no excitement, no truth or passion. It's plain, and empty. Somethings missing. A part of me is lost, and I intend to find it.

What's the point of life if there's not a little fun? What's the point of trying if there's nothing to try for? But really, if everyone believes, life's more about surviving, then what makes it so special. What makes life worth living in the first place?

***

"Andi...? Andi...?" Suddenly I snap out of it and I'm facing Liam. My eyes become really good friends with the ground. Analyzing everything. What the hell just happened? The wind blows the trees fiercely, pushing his dirty blonde hair in face. "Are you okay, your nose is still bleeding." He stares, his hazel eyes sharing worry. "Hold on." He continues, his voice is soft, calm and I feel as if everything is suddenly repeating, unless I'm going completely crazy. He grabs his own sleeve and wipes my nose. His grey jacket now stained with blood, my blood, red blood. Not blue. I knew it. I'm going insane.

"We should get to your moms." He drops his hand to his side, not giving a second thought about the blood on his jacket. "You said you were heading there now right?" Again, our eyes meet, my stare a little more intense. He doesn't budge, but worry clouds his judgment once again. "Are you sure you're okay?" He checks and I nod.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I smile but deep down I know it's fake. It has been for a while. The sparkle in my eyes faded a long time ago, along with my happiness but no one seems to notice, because I'm just the same me. "You're right. We should head over there before we both get yelled at for being late like last year." I beam.

"Let's go shortie." He smirks at the word he knows I hate. I give him a glare which doesn't seem to frighten him at all.

"Hey I am not short! We've talked about this!" I crackle. "5'5 is not a joke. It's average!" I talk back as we walk out of the significant park. The wind blows harder and I let it pass me, bringing me to this place where everything seems right. I know it won't last forever but in the moment where my eyes meet with my best friend, my brother, my everything I can't help but not want to push all thoughts of my father out of my brain.