(Btw..I dont own this story :) )
"Where are you going, Risa?!" upon entering my room, my mom is surprised too see me in my jeans, jacket and rubber shoes. My outfit clearly says that I'm going out.
"Mom, I need to go to the park."
Because I have an old friend waiting for me...
"At a time like this?!"
"Oh please mom, don't exaggerate. It's only 7 o'clock in the evening."
"No, you can't go. It's already late. Change your clothes." my mom turns her back on me and is about to leave my room, I run to her and hold her arm.
"Mom." she stops, not facing me.
"Can I go? Please?" I insisted.
"No."
I pout at her response, "Not fair! You usually allow me to go outside at this hour and even late!"
"Don't you understand the situation?!" inbetween her lines, I hear her sob. I don't know if she's crying, I can't see her face neither her tears. I try to turn her to face me and my thought is confirmed, my mom is crying again.
No, not again but always. My mom is always crying since she knew about my sickness and due date. Why does the thought of dying makes a person cry? I want to know, what is the saddest thing about death? What is there to cry about death? What is? Why? Questions.
I embrace my mother and whisper to her ear, "I don't understand the situation and I'm not trying to understand it anymore. It might sound that I'm weary of all of these and I'm like giving up but I'll tell you the truth mom, I'm not dying."
She pushes me a little because she is taken aback from my words, "You're not dying?! The doctor just said..."
"I just started living life so how come I'm dying? I will die but I'm not dying, mom. Please do remember that."
"What... what are you saying? I don't understand. You're confusing me! Stop using unfathomable phrases!"
I wipe the tears on mom's cheek and kiss the tip of her nose, "Mom, please let me go tonight? Please?"
"I just said you can't---"
"Do you remember when I was in sixth grade, you and dad asked me what happened to me and my bestfriend back then?" I paused, took a breath and continue, "For my response, I told you guys that people grow old and meet other friends. After that, you didn't ask me anything anymore. If you'll ask me the same question again, I'll tell you a different answer."
"What's the sense of this?"
"Just ask me the same question again, Mom. Ask me what happened to me and my bestfriend back then."
Mom hesitates, looks directly in my eyes then to the wall and looks back into my eyes again. "W-what happened to you and her? Why didn't I see you guys hanging out anymore?"
"I bullied her."
Thick and clear. My words are nothing but guilt and regret.
"I---" mom can't even continue her word, she covers her mouth with her right hand in astonishment.
"I'm a bad girl mom, a bad friend. I want to understand why I did such things so please, let me go. Please, mom. Please."
"Are you meeting her tonight?"
I nod, "After 8yrs."
"Then go."
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