[W.I.P] GEaH but gayer

Here

Uh. So imma try and just focus on Guy and Sam bc like that'd be really boring if I just rewrote the entire script...

Just east of North Westville and south of Goo-bai, a town known as Glurfsburg might catch you eye. Our story starts here, and bro let me tell you, it's gonna be a gay one. Anyway, who knows what's in store, certainly not me, the fucking narrator. It begins with a kite and then- "woo-hoo-hoo!!" Is...that a--that's a ninja! I mean like, this is Dr. Suess, so, forgive me if I wasn't expecting a god. Damn. N I N J A--WHY WOULD CUT THE--oh wAIT WHAT'S A PAPER AIRPLANE GOnna...do...uh, well I suppose I answered myself. "Dive roll!" The ninja basically narrates for himself, great...cause that's totally not my job or anything. This sneaky lil' bitch snuck into the zoo, fucking hurdled over a goddamn fence, and then made it past slapping turtles!! That just sounds menacing...our little ninja friend crept to the large creature's cage, was he going to free it? No...well? "Shh, shh...it's okay, it's okay..." he coaxed calmly, "easy big fella--wow omigosh you are absolutely massive..." this opted a giggle. The huge creature let out a bitch ass scream, like, not an intimidating one, just...a scream.

This, my friends, is Guy. You can not see him, but he is shoving many people out of his way. And yes before you ask, he is a closeted gay. "Move, I'm gay--" well, maybe not quite as closeted as I'd like to think he is. Some dumbass vsco girl came up to Guy with a form, like, "sksksk, save the yips!~" he shoved her out of his way and grumbled angrily. "Oh..." she simply watched him walk off. "Sir--" Guy also shoved them out of his way, why the fuck was everyone bothering him? He didn't even look that inviting when it comes to conversation, because he isn't. And not only that, our friend here is on his way to make history. Guy was going to an interview, this interview basically determined his entire future, you'll see what I mean later.
Guy was finally there, right at the elevator! Oop--wait...nevermind. Guy whined as his elevator ride went on and on and on...when the elevator finally dinged Guy happily skipped out.
He took his seat and looked around at the amazing inventions, could he compare to this? Guy shook off that thought, "you can do this..." he told himself. Some dude came up to Guy and asked him about his invention, "it's...nothing special..." Guy told him duly, to which the dude replied, "ooh, sounds special!" That reminded Guy a lot of his family, ew. Guy once again shook these thoughts off and sighed, "you can do this..."

And here we have our next hero! Whom, once again you cannot see, but trust me...he is being creepy and baby and the same time. "Support the yips, sir?" The same vsco girl was walked passed once more. She simply sighed and looked down sadly, "yips!?" The small baby boy gasped dramatically, "I heard they have yaps..." he had literally appeared out of nowhere right in front of her, "uh--" he didn't let her finish, "so tragic..." this dude had signed every space, which, to be fair was a bit annoying, cause you can't sign more than once, but our vsco chick appreciated it. "H-hey, you!" She called out waving, "what's your name?" He just made a little "uwu" face and stopped, "I am Sam, Sam I am!~" and with that our little mystery dude was no longer a mystery. Sam proceeded to run off, helping a few people on his way.

Guy's head jolted up apon hearing his name called. "Guy Am I! Is there a Guy Am I here?" He gave the receptionist lady a "bruh" face, "I am literally the only person in this room..." she looked up at him, "uh-huh..." Guy rolled his eyes, "you're sure ya don't wanna squeeze anyone else in first?" He asked sarcastically, to which the lady shook her head. "Nah, hun. You're the absolute last person they wanted to see..." Guy couldn't help but feel hurt, "ay, lose the frown, kid...they're just a bunch of bean counters and pencil pushers," she stated as Guy walked through the now open door.
Let's just say, things haven't exactly worked out for a friend Guy. All the cool things he invented blew up, which, uh...to say the least was an issue. But, Guy had faith in himself, this one time that is, and told himself to give this one last try. The room he had walked into made Guy feel very claustrophobic, even though it was rather large. A lady gave him a look and then continued to count her beans, "7,462 beans..." goddamn lady, how long have you been at this and why? "All right, buddy..." they all stared at Guy, he had the floor. "You're up, dazzle us~" Guy cleared his throat, "isn't travel the worst? Stuck in a cold air balloon with people you don't even know, and having to wait for their stop then yours...there has to be a better way, right?" They all looked at him, now interested. "Well, I believe yes, and it is called..." Guy dug through his briefcase, "the self-flyer!" Everyone except the lady counting beans made little "ooh!" And "wow!" Sounds. "Now, you can go ANYWHERE you want, whenever you want!" The uptight lady stopped counting for a second, "oh yes, how lovely! Just what every child needs..." Guy smiled warmly, "...a death trap strapped to their back!" Aaaand his smile faded, "I promise that this invention is 100% safe and will 100% NOT explode, as I will demonstrate..." Guy's voice trailed off a bit at the end. He took a deep breath a pressed the two weird nunchuck-looking thingies, "don't explode, don't explode, don't explode..." Guy had his eyes closed tightly until everyone gasped, had something gone wrong? No. Could it be? It could! He was flying! And the self-flyer hadn't blown up! "Whoa! I-I'm not exploding!" Guy flew around happily, I'm so proud. He didn't a few tricks before finally landing. "Well," they started, "I think we're all in agreement~" Guy felt his heart about to pound out of his chest, "congratulations! You're going to Meepville!" The weird mechanical arm above the people judging Guy handed him a ticket. Our buddy here thought he was about to cry, like, right there, he so happy, but just then...the self-flyer started making clanking sounds, and totally went fucking ballsy for a whole minute, "nO NoT mY bEAnS!!" The lady who was counting them earlier shouted as she attempted to protect her bEANS. The machine stopped...doing...that but, Guy didn't care, infact he'd honestly wished he had died because now...he had no reason to live. "Oh my!" The lady gasped, "I'm not gonna say I told you so...because I've written in down..." she flashed him her bean counter sheet with the phrase "I told you so" written on it. "I'm sorry, hun... but that's an automatic disqualification!"
Guy wondered if he should've checked the machine more thoroughly as walked out. Oh and the bean lady, she's important. Her name is Michellee, and she's Guy's critic. "Oh, just the thought of that horrid device...ugh!" She shivered, "I'd never let my daughter near that thing, E.B is much too fragile..." Michellee said, but she was practically talking to herself, because no one listened or cared, but that's not the point! The point is, E.B is most certainly not fragile. Right now, she's trying to fish herself a pet pandog with cheese stuffed bamboo, and even though Michellee wouldn't allow it, E.B didn't care because, in our queen's words, "a pet would be cool!" But in the process she sorta ended up falling down the stairs, whoops. Etc.