[W.I.P] GEaH but gayer

Car

Like I said, I'm skipping a lot to focus on what matters, the gay.

Guy frantically tried to clean up the mess that the beast had created them he'd remember something. Sam! That little creep who had given him his number, this was his fault! Guy locked the beast in his--er, Sam's briefcase, "stay!" The creature squawked apon pain. Guy felt a little nervous about calling Sam, he wasn't exactly sure why...maybe it was because Sam was an absolute creep...that's what Guy told himself anyway. The grumpy Knox took a deep breath and dialed up the number, "...come on..." he mumbled, "pick up!" Guy had one foot keeping the briefcase down. "H-hello?" A voice greeted from the phone, "uh, is this Sam?" The voice paused for a second and there was silence, "u-uh, I'm sorry...who is this?"
"Gu...Guy? Guy Am I?" This prompted an immediate gasp, "you actually called! Oh...yeah...uhm, I'm not gonna dwell on why," Sam laughed, "because I'm sure...that's why...uh look, my address is 8351 North Bluff Gluff, you might wanna hurry..." he just hung up on him, rude. Guy looked down at the briefcase, "stupid matching--ugh!"

Guy arrived at the trailer, unluckily for him, the B.A.D.G.U.Y.S. beat him to it. "Going somewhere?" Guy felt a hand grab him, "um, no..." he said as he turned around, "not at all! Why do you ask?" Guy nervously chuckled. "Is this your house?" McWinkle asked intimidatingly as always. Guy shook his head, "this?? This shabby place? Nononono--what makes you ask that? Why would be?" McWinkle ignored the last bit, "if this isn't your house then why are you here?" Guy awkwardly smiled, "mmm, well technically I think it's more of a vehicle."
"Welllll Mr. Smart guy! How do you know that if this wasn't your house, huh!?" Gluntz peared out from behind McWinkle. "Sir, if what's in the briefcase is what we think it is, then you are going to be in serious trouble..." Guy tried to slip away from this situation, "briefcase? What briefcase?" He laughed awkwardly, "oh!" Guy exclaimed as McWinkle pointed at the briefcase. "Oh, this briefcase! Nothing! Nothing's in here!" They both gave Guy a look. "This briefcase is simply an unremarkable attache sold at most major stores! A-and by attache I mean briefcase, of course!" McWinkle raised and eyebrow, "you certainly seem to be saying "briefcase" a lot..." he stepped a bit closer. "Briefcase? I mean, am I? I-I don't think so. Not anymore than I usually say briefcase, which is very rarely!" Guy backed up. "Anyway, I'm sorry I can't help you with your case, but I'm sure it'll be...brief!" He awkwardly laughed as he ducked under Sam's line of hung up hats. "A real briefcase! Heh..." the B.A.D.G.U.Y.S. only walked closer as Guy backed up. "Okay, look thing isn't even-" he was interrupted by the screeching of tires, "hiya~" Sam said as he opened the door, "let's skedaddle..." he coaxed, slightly nodding his head to the other direction. Guy looked behind him and reluctantly hopped in. The small man, whose feet barely touched the peddles, recklessly drove off. "No!!" McWinkle shouted as they did this.

"Where are we even going?!" Guy frantically asked, "shopping." Sam joked, "I'm serious!! What even is this thing!?" The little red hatted man beamed when he noticed the briefcase, "you brought him!" Sam unclipped the little lock thingies. "Sam!" Guy grabbed the steering wheel, "aw...you remembered my name~"
"TAKE THE WHEEL--!!" Sam put a finger over Guy's lips, "shhh! You'll scare him..." the beast sprung out of the briefcase happily, "hehe! Yeeeaaah, you just needed some fresh air!" He petted the creature, "what's going on??" Sam took the wheel once more, "who're those maniacs!?" Guy looked back at the bird. "Oh, they're the B.A.D.G.U.Y.S.!" Sam stated plainly, "bad guys?? What--why are they after you!?" He pointed back to the beast, "that Chickeraffe, dingus!~" Guy grumbled, that was sort of a dumb question. Everyone was after that thing. "well, I want nothing to do with this...let me out..." Sam pouted a bit, "stop taking your eyes off the road!!" Guy blurted out. "See, well...I can't..." Sam sighed, "let you out, that is..." Guy squinted, "mind if ask WHY!?" The tiny yellow bitch smiled, "Guy Jr.'s already attached." The Chickeraffe licked Guy, "ugh!" He shoved the bird off, "Guy Jr.??" Sam nodded, "that's what I've been calling him." The taller man blushed, that was creepy and endearing, "it's an animal, it doesn't feel like we do!"
"Guy Jr." Whined, "see? He's already sad! Trust me on this, I'm a wildlife expert!" Sam flashed his badge. Guy just rolled his eyes, "your mother must be proud." Sam looked off, "look," he started, "those "maniacs" wanna sell the big fella to a collector! I've have his best interest in mind," Guy groaned, "that's fantastic, why should I care?" Sam gently grabbed Guy's wrist, "because you're the first person he interacted with! Guy Jr. Loves you!" He snapped his fingers and pointed at the windshield, singling Sam to look at the road,  "so where ya headed?" Guy grumbled, "Meepville." Sam gasped dramatically, "no way! Me too!" He continued, "that's great!" Guy groaned, "you don't say..."
"Mhm~" Sam happily stated, "so, travel buddy, guess you didn't fail like I thought, huh?" Guy sighed, "actually I'm going there to become a paint watcher..." Sam forced a smile, "wow! Exciting!" He awkwardly laughed. "Stop that, it's a solid fallback plan." Sam nodded, "uh-huh! Totally solid! Not giving up on your dreams at..." Guy sighed, "let me out." Sam pouted again, "but-"
"Now."

"Can I at least get them digits?" Sam asked as he drove slowly beside where Guy walked. "No." Sam looked sad, "what about a platonic hug?"
"No." Sam grumbled angrily, out of character for him, "not a hugger, I respect that...but howza 'bout a friendly handshake? That way we know-" Guy didn't let him finish, "no!! Leave me alone! We are going our separate ways, end of discussion!!"

Guy was hot and dehydrated, he had been walking forever, then a miracle! A car began driving closer...very slowly.

"Mom! Look! That guy looks like he needs help!" E.B pointed out the window, "we should pick him up!" Michellee shook her head, "of course not! You NEVER pick up strangers off the road." Guy tapped on the window, "I'm so sorry to bother you, but I'm on my way to Meepville, and, well..." he looked up, that was his critic, she had seen him and his invention screw up. Guy blushed, as Michellee simply ignored him. "Mom!! Look at him!" E.B repeated, "I will not look at him, because I am driving and that would make a dangerous situation even more dangerous." Michellee said, "then stop the car! He's stranded..." E.B pouted a bit. "Oh please, he is clearly a lunatic waiting for some ignorant person to pick him up so he can make them pawns in what ever crazy plan he is cooking up!"
"...I'm not." Michellee started to roll up E.B's window, "please!" She simply ignored him and..."sped" off, more like she barely drove normal speed, but still drove faster than before. "Ugh..."

By now Guy had started going a tad bit mad. He was hallucinating and everything, then he started to hear a familiar voice calling his name. A miracle! Oh. No, no it isn't. It was that annoying little man from before, "hey Guy! You look a little tired there..." Sam patted Guy's head, he swung his arms around to get Sam to move his hand. "Soooo! Ready to give in?" God, that sounded so creepy, "no...I-I'm fine Guy tried to stand, to little success. "Well, that's unfortunate, because I've got some food and bevvies with your name on them!~" Guy looked at Sam for a bit as he wiggled the cup in front of him. Guy finally snatched it, and then immediately spit it out, "is...is this hot chocolate??" Sam took the cup, "oh, yeah...my mistake!" He handed Guy the other cup, "here's yours!" Cold chocolate. How sweet. "Yeah, it tastes nice in this cool air conditioned car," Sam paused, "I suppose it wouldn't taste the greatest in the world, considering...you're heavily dehydrated..." they looked at each for a minute. "Ughhnnnn....FINE!! Okay? You win!" Guy got in the car, "yay! Travel buddies!!" Sam threw his arms up happily, then used them to pull Guy into a hug, which he rejected. "But as soon as we get to Meepville we are going our separate ways! Got it?" Sam happily nodded. "So, I assume you're hungry too?" He pushed the green eggs and ham closer to Guy as he sipped his cold chocolate, "no, I will not eat them in a car." Sam giggled slightly at that, "ooookay, that is an oddly specific stance to take on the matter. But--! I'mma just this delicious bits of joy in one meal right here! Juuuust in case you change your mind!" Guy yawned, "I've got a better plan..." he said as closed his eyes. Sam nodded, "yeah..." he laughed, "you must be exhausted!" Sam went to pet Guy's ears, again, but he swatted the smaller man's hand away. "Welllllllp! You can trust me, so you just mosey on to sleep~"

"Heyyy Guy! Rise and shine, sleepyhead! Morning, lazybones!" Guy slowly opened his eyes and looked over at the driver's seat, where Sam for some reason wasn't. "Hope ya slept well, anyway I'm gonna need you to do me a tiny favor and barrel roll outta the car real quick! Just tuck your legs in and-"
"Sam! What are you doing out there!?" Sam looked at Guy as if that was a silly question, "oh, well we had to make a run for before the car hit that giant lake straight ahead." Guy squinted, "what lake??" Sam continued, "oh, sorry. It's just below that cliff..." Guy looked ahead, "cliff?"