Saving Ellie

Part 1

 

My daughter. What can I say about her? She is my sunshine, my only happiness in this hateful world. She may be only a baby but without her my life would mean nothing. She is all I have. She is my breath, my heartbeat, and my soul. Ellie is everything. She sleeps beside me, peacefully. Through the cracks of the stonewall, I feel the sunlight. I believe that in this musty room that the sun is shining on Ellie as if she was an angel. I hear her soft breaths, they match with my own. We are linked she and I. I wish us to always be together. I have thought about this for days, what would happen to Ellie if I were to disappear?

I stand up off of our cot that is against the wall. I hear my feet step on to the sandy floor. I listen for her breathing and lean forward, searching for Ellie.  I scoop her into my arms. I can feel her soft skin and smell her rose scented hair. I clutch her close to me and walk forward, hoping not to run into a wall. I step through a doorway and I hear sounds to the left and right of me echoing off the walls.

I hear people talking on the right so I turn left. I must move quickly, I cannot be spotted. He will kill me if he knew what I was planning. I hope my markers have stayed in place. They are the key to our survival. As I walk down the stone tunnel I start to shiver, the temperature seems to drop the further I go.

My heartbeat quickens and Ellie starts to stir. I try to rock her soothingly against my chest. She sighs and slips back into her slumber. I press her closer to my chest to keep her warm. Her threadbare blanket will not sustain her for long. I will have to continue on faster. We are running from the biggest evils that have ever existed. Ellie is not safe here. It’s my responsibility as her mother to protect her. I can survive here, I am strong enough. She will be safe elsewhere.

I start to run through the hidden tunnels, the smell of mud is prominent in my nose. My hand runs on the wall, feeling for my marks I have left behind. I will have to be careful and follow closely or else Ellie won’t last the night. He will find us and he will beat me into oblivion. He will take Ellie from me and taint her pure soul.

I hear noises, almost like the wind to the right of me. Ellie starts to awaken. I start to panic. She will start to whine for her mother’s milk, her whine will echo through these retched tunnels then he will find us. I quickly let her suckle my breast. This settles her down and she rubs her face on my left shoulder. I continue on feeling for the beads I left in the cracks of the walls. I have to find the last marker by nightfall. Once I have located the last marker I will allow myself some rest. Curse my eyes!

I turn left and I start to once again feel along the stonewall. I can feel the grittiness of what feels almost like sand. I feel around in the cracks for a round and smooth bead. I start to panic. I can’t find it. I can’t accept defeat I will continue on. Hopefully I just misplaced the location of the marker in my mind.

As I walk further down the tunnel I find the marker. I pull the bead out of the wall and place it into my front, left jean pocket. I have done these with the other markers, so that he doesn’t find them. He could locate us immediately if he found them. Covering our tracks is vital.

I must rest now; I cannot go through with the rest of my plan if I cannot even keep my eyes open. I cradle Ellie closer to me and hope that she doesn’t make a sound. I sit down on the ground and lean my back against the cold wall.

I start to dream of a new life for Ellie. She will have to live her life to the fullest without the strong influence of him and his darkness. My dream then shifts to a memory, a memory that I had buried deep within myself. I had wished this memory had never resurfaced.

This dream will not be explained in detail, for no one should have to experience my pain. The rape of a woman is a common occurrence now. It is an accomplishment, celebrated by males for showing ultimate dominance against a “weak” female. That is the code we beings follow now. I was different. I did not cry for mercy, I did not fight back. Because of this “accomplishment” God gave me my gift, Ellie.