The FUCK is going on?

Masked clowns steal my bus

Guy : Oh yes, that day! It was so strange. Several things have happened to me that I'm not even sure I understand at the moment.

Well then, my day started as usual. My alarm rang and I put it on snooze 4 or 5 times. Then, my mother, who is a very punctual woman and always wants to help me get there on time, told me:

"Here, I'll save you some time for your lunch. Catch! ».

From her seat, she then threw a bowl of cereal at my head while I was in bed, spilling milk on me as well. Ah, my mother, always thinking of my own good. So, I ate my lunch and then I took the soap directly to wash myself because I was already wet.

When I was ready, I took the bus. 10 minutes later, I was doing my homework when suddenly, 4 armed robbers with clown masks came in with a big bag full of money, probably after robbing a bank. Maybe the parents of their last children's party hadn't paid them or was it National Rage Clown Day? 

Whatever the answer to this existential question, two clowns caught our attention.

The chief clown shoots a shot. "Attention, everyone! ".

A second clown sounds like a clown's horn to get everyone's attention right after. Clown 1 looks at him ferociously. "Sorry".

Clown 1 : "So, as I was saying, we're going to take your bus hostage to escape the city. We'll let you get back to your little city tour. Nobody moves and everything will be fine. "

Old woman : " Wow, that's very entertaining. Nothing usually happens. Is this a circus act? ".

Clown 1 : "No, this is very serious ...".

Old woman (with a camera) : "Say cheese !".

"Clown 1:" Ma'am, please take your place... ".

The other three clowns (standing for a picture): "Cheese! ".

Okay, but what's going on right now?

**

Several minutes later (while reading "10 ways to escape as a hostage without your pants falling off"), I hear police sirens ringing as the bus rolls, and police officers start following us. 

Oh yes, I often get this question when I tell this story: "Do police officers really have sirens, like those that live in the water?". To be clear.... You know what? I'll let you guess for yourself. 

I hear (and the others too I imagine?) a policeman talking through the bus radio.

Police officer: "Stop! Step aside and everyone will be fine".

Clown 1: "But we have the situation perfectly under control, officer!".

Police officer: "We'll find an arrangement, Mr. Clown".

Clown 1: "But there is nothing you can offer me that interests me, "Mr." Police Officer".

Police officer: "How much money do you want?".

Clown 1: "We have all the money we need!".

Police officer: "We could promise you a safe exit. What value does it have for you?".

C1: "This city has more exit points than pants you've wet in your career, young man. We have thought of everything".

Police officer (in his head): "Maybe we have to try with something else? They're clowns, so objects related to that? ".

Police officer: "We can offer you red noses!".

Clown 1: "Does he really think we're clowns? No, we're not really....".

Police officer: "Animal balloons! Long shoes adapted to your size, as you like them so much!".

Clown 2 (hesitant): "Oh sir, we could finally have the makeup we so dreamed of...".

Clown 1 (shouting): "You idiot, this is not the time to dress up as a drag queen!".

**
A few minutes later, the bus hits a big bump on the road in an even more powerful shock than in the morning when you hit your little toe on the corner of the desk. Suddenly, I see a child about 5 years old flying in a straight line to the clown leader's balls and hitting him with his head.

That's impressive. As an archer, I know how hard it is to hit a target, but to hit a target in the bull's eye in a moving bus with such an unbalanced object? I take my hat off to him. With such natural talent, he could well become an Olympic athlete.

Oh yes, let this situation be a lesson to you. Every time you plan to do something dangerous, don't forget to protect yourself, and no, I'm not talking about condoms here. If the clown leader had decided to follow this simple rule, perhaps he would still be able to conceive children. There you go, daddy dude just did his good deed for the day.

Okay, let's go back to the story.

The bus hits another hump and punctures his tires, forcing him to stop. The police surrounded the bus by pointing their guns at the bank robbers. 

Police officer: "Come out with your hands in the air! ".

For a few minutes, the police and thieves shot each other. Eventually, the clowns ran out of ammunition. They raise their hands as a sign of submission and get off the bus. Passengers applauded loudly. 

Elderly woman: "So that was a bus ride worth it!".