Waiting For The Death Blow

6.

"Nice day, ain't it?" Simon spoke as he rested his back against a large tree. This outing had lacked usual conversation and it was beginning to worry Simon with how quiet Robert was becoming.
Robert stared into the colourless sky. "No." He solemnly replied.

Both men sat, still and unenthused at the top of the cemetery hill. Tombstones scattered eerily throughout the patchy grass. Robert leaned against a headstone, gazing off into the distance. He could see almost the whole of Crawley from up so high.

The weather was still bitterly cold, but Robert didn't care, it suited his mood, he thought. The way the bare tree branches hung reminded him of how bare his ribcage felt. He wondered if heart was capable of even beating anymore.

"We should be getting back soon." Simon suggested. "We've been here a while now and the girls will be getting  back soon." Mary and Carol had gone to the town for a few hours, leaving the boys to do what they wanted. Robert sighed and hoisted himself up. Simon smiled weakly and stood, taking Robert's hand in his.

They took a leisurely walk back to Simon's house, silent and hand in hand.

Simon knocked on the door and Robert gritted his teeth, having to let go of Simon's hand. "It's about time you two got back!" Carol laughed, welcoming them in. "Is dinner almost ready, Love? I'm starving." Simon asked as he lazily kissed his girlfriends cheek. "You're so typical! Only thinking of food, perusal. Aren't you going to ask me about my day?" Carol rolled her eyes as she took Simon's jacket and Robert's coat, hanging them on the rack.

Robert wondered into the lounge as Simon spoke with Carol. He sat down on the couch, next to Mary.

"What's up with you, moody tosser?" Mary teased as she grabbed onto Robert's arm. "You look like you've been hit by a bus!" She exclaimed. "I'm just tired..." Robert lied, as he gazed back to Simon.

He wanted more than this for them. Yet, he knew that he couldn't simply just abandon Mary. Besides, Simon was happy with Carol. Wasn't he?

Robert was beginning to lose all hope for everything he had once cared for. Everything- but Simon. Simon picked him up from his spiralling misery and all Robert could think about was how much he wanted his lips pressed against his friends.

He wished things had been different.
He wished Simon had stayed that night back at the hotel...