War is Love • Ava Rose Mikaelson

1. For the Next Millennium

It's been six months since everything went down. Six very long months. I had left for about a week and then I came back home because I missed my daughter. I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do or how long I would be gone. After being alone for that long it gave me time to think about things and how it looks from the outside. Nik and I... let's just say we're not in a good place nor a bad place.

I haven't spoken to or seen Ileana at all and I've spoken to Hayley maybe twice. I was relieved that she decided to complete the transition and I was happy that she was alive. She was turned by Nik's blood meaning she was sired to him and she was basically kissing my feet to make him happy. It wasn't real. She wasn't over what happened and I don't blame her. Once Nik "set her free" she was pissed at me again and we haven't talked since. The same is with Ileana. I try not to think about it but I know I failed her. I know that I disappointed her in ways that I cannot be forgiven and I don't think she'll ever forgive me.

Elijah has barely spoken two words to me. Freya talks to me sometimes but not always because I don't usually reply to anything she says. Rebekah, I spoke over the phone a few times and we're on talking terms now so that's better than nothing.

Hope started walking almost two months ago and she's a year old now. Her birthday was in May and Nik's birthday was a few months after hers. I spent her birthday with only her and Nik. Surprisingly, we didn't get into an argument that day. It was a good day for the three of us. When our daughter started walking it was a very exciting and emotional moment for us. I think Nik even shed a tear or two. It made us realize how time is passing by so fast. She insists to walk now, she would cry if we pick her up. I suppose it's a good thing that she doesn't want to be cradled 24/7. I think it's a little stunt she pulls because she likes to run away or at least tries to run from us so we would catch her.

During these last six months, things were good between Nik and me whenever we had our daughter around but things were terrible when it was just us. Argument after argument, things about the past were brought up. I don't know how to make things better. I don't know how to fix it, I don't even know if it can be fixed. Everything was so good between us but after what happened with Dahlia it made me realize things that I didn't realize before. I would do anything to protect those I love but sometimes I ended up doing more harm than good. I tell myself that I did this all for Hope and I did but every night my brain finds new ways where this all could've gone in a better way.

The first two or three weeks after everything went down we were either not talking at all or screaming at each other. It supposed it got so bad because Elijah and Freya started to get concerned because they would come barging into whatever room we were in, thinking we were about to kill each other or something and they would try to calm us down. In one of those arguments, in the heat of the moment, I found out why he did what he did to Hayley.

"Because Dahlia was going to kill her!" He shouted at me and I'm taken back, appalled by this information. "If I hadn't gotten her my blood she would be dead right now! During the midst of all that fighting, I managed to get her my blood!"

"Why did you tell me this three weeks ago!" I yelled at him in frustration.

"You hate me already! This wouldn't have changed a thing!"

"This is just like you! Always keeping things from me!"

I was so fueled with anger and frustration. My heart was pounding and it felt like it was about to burst to my chest. I stormed away from him when felt his hand around my neck as he turned me around, pulling me towards him until my body bumped into him and I could feel his breath against my lips. He stood there with his hand still around my neck while he stared at my lips as if he's contemplating whether to kiss me or not. I don't know what changed in the last five seconds but I desperately wanted him to kiss me.