"Hey honey. You're getting a call" my mom hollered. I up the phone. "Hey Virginia. It's dankdank420 entertainment. We manage Matty B Raps: the greatest 12-year old Canadian rapper out there. We are just calling to congratulate you on getting cast for Matty's music video for his cover of Buckwild" the man proclaimed. "You're kidding me, right? I, Virginia Caniff, a simple girl from Missouri, am going to be in Matty B Raps music video?" My head felt dizzy. Next thing I knew I was lying on my bed.
"Jeezum Crow honey you passed out! Were you smoking too much Mary Jane last night??" she asked. "No mom! If you smoke marijuana you explode don't you know that? I was just really excited about Matty B raps!" It was true. I was in love with Mathew David Morris. And it's not like a little crush. I will marry him. And he knows it too. Well, maybe not yet but we have a special connection. He literally is my religion: I pray to him every night. I asked my mom if I could convert to Mattyanity: the religion his fans made up. She said maybe. Anyways, about a week later I flew out to the big apple; the place where Broadway is; the Empire State; yep, you guessed it: Tulsa, Oklahoma! That's where the video was being shot. My legs were shaking with excitement. I was only a few minutes away from meeting him!
I walked on to the set and immediately, my eyes caught him: the shining angel. It was Matty. I ran over to him. "Hi, my name is back up dancer and I'm one of your Virginias!" Frick! I messed that one up. "Ayo digga I'm motherfuckin Matty B raps". "I know who you are!" I replied. He looked at me: "LOL this bitch funny!!!!!!" He yelled. "Yo lets make her the star of the video instead of my dumb retarded sister." (It was true. Sarah Grace does have down syndrome) O. M. FREAKING. G. I am going to not only be in Matty B Rap's video, but the star of it! My head felt dizzy again. BOOM! I was out cold.
I woke up and was in a different place. I looked at the door: "MattyB Raps dressing room" it said. I looked to my other side and saw him sitting there. "You okay?" Matty asked. "Yeah I'm fine. I was just really excited." "It's okay! I get it! I would get excited too if I saw someone as good looking and talented as me!" Wow. Nice and modest. I started laughing. We then talked about everything: big time rush or Jonas brothers, Crocs or Uggs, and why Blood on the Dance Floor is the best band ever (besides the King. No, not Elvis! MattyB raps!). He even asked me if I wanted any of his "purple drank", but I said I was too full from the bagel I ate earlier. He was so sweet and friendly. "Matty, you're a really nice person. I'm really glad we met." "You too digga!!!" He proclaimed. "My love for you is like diarrhea" he got closer. "I just can't keep it in" He leaned in for a kiss.
Was this what third base was? He took off his t-shirt with the "Y U NO" meme on it, revealing his 12-pack as he sang Baby by Justin Bieber; his role model. I've been in town for 2 hours and this has already happened? He then took off his race-car print boxers, as his sister, Sarah Grace walked in. "SARAH WTF I'M WITH MY BITCH!! GTFO!!" There was a pause. "Can I join?" She asked. Matty's face started changing from angry to excited. "I was kind of in the mood for alittle incest. So yeah I guess". Matty turned to me. "Look Virginia. My sister is a SILF (a sister I'd like to fuck) and I've wanted to get with her for a long time, so bye. Go be a woman and make me sandwich or some shit" he said, shutting the door on my face. My chance with Matty came and went, and I missed it.
I started to cry. I ran out of the studio. I couldn't do the music video. I was just too sad. The next day I called the manager up and told him that i jsut couldn't do the music video anymore. The next day I got a call. "Hey Virginia. Just wanted to tell you that you got the part for Bella Thorne's new music video!". Uh-oh. Here we go again.
