I Remember.

I remember crying myself to sleep every night when I first moved to the country. 
I remember the people saying horrible things about the country that raised me. 
I remember seeing her laughing the first time she got a report for talking to me in class. 
I remember the pain when I saw her crying after I told her I had to move, and I remember wiping the tears off her cheeks. 
I remember making perfumes out of flowers and water in recess at elementary school. 
I remember the first time I fell in love. 
I remember my friend, who was completely afraid of what his parents would say if he came out to them. Then, when he finally did they protected him from all the homophobic comments the other members of the family said. 
I remember the first time I held a puppy and the pain when my parents told me that he could not take the pain anymore so we needed to put him to sleep. 
I remember one of my best friends, Lucy, and how she told everybody I should not have friends because I was a crybaby 
I remember my mother crying when she realized I wasn't happy. 
I remember the first time I played the piano. The sound was horrible and I had to take almost 10 seconds to read the note, figure out which tile it was and then play it. 
I remember playing the piano yesterday and still sounding horrible, but a little bit better. 
I remember the first concert I went with my sister. Her smile was bigger than ever and her eyes I remember making chocolate cake for the first time using a microwave instead of an oven. It was a little burnt, but sweet anyways and it made my mother smile. 
I remember at 11 the first time I held my puppy in my arms and telling him I would never let anything happen to him. 
I remember not being able to look at myself in a mirror. And I remember how much I hated what I saw in that mirror. 
I remember telling myself that I didn't deserve love.
I remember my mother laughing at me the tenth time I broke a bone because she told me not to do something because I would get hurt, and I didn't listen. But I know she was crying inside. 
I remember the time I met Selena Gomez. 
I remember being able to eat my favorite food every Friday, it is probably one of the things I miss the most about my country. 
I remember not wanting to start high school and then not wanting it to end. 
I remember not knowing what the word "queer" meant and panicking because I didn't want to be the only one in an LGBTQ+ studies class who didn't know what it was. 
I remember living the best years of my life and not knowing it. 
I remember the first time I told to myself how proud I am of who I became.