Man I'm about to be an adult. Sucks. All my life I had difficulties opening up to a family members, friends and even a therapist. I always lied my way out those situations. That feeling of judgement of another and things you might not want to hear can be scary. Why do we hide our emotions? I don't know. For sake I do it my self. It's a easy way out for me but so damaging internally. Especially when I joked around my family about my real emotions to see if I'd get the response I wanted and it never was a positive one as a person it pushed me further to stay in my shell.
As I get older and as I observe my surroundings, but most the times I don't do anything cause being in a different environment I'm putting my self in could be a scary feeling as it is as a scary thought. I want to speak out my thoughts but I feel tamed. The toxic relationships I have with my friends. I want to say something but I can bare to lose them cause I'm scared of being in a environment with out them. But you know what they say "you are what your friends are" damn well their right. So I usually hide my thoughts on things or my emotions because in reality it's the easy way out.
Like I said going into adulthood, man reality hits, paying for college , getting loans all stressful Shit no one likes. Like can I hide that too? Imagine. From experience I've hurt my self tremendously and I regret it. The imagine society puts out for everyone is really mind fucking. Shit really can fuck up your next action or your natural instant.
