CHAPTER 1: I Never Knew

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MACEY

LOVE..... Everybody wants to find it, experience it. That rush and happiness it brings you. But at the same time, it isn't that easy to find for some if not for most.

Reasons can differ of course from being heartbroken, abandoned, taken advantage of to where they end up pushing people away.

Either way, no matter what the reasons are, deep down inside, we all want it.

Growing up, my parents weren't the best examples for love but, I always believed in the fairy tales. I'd get so lost in them every time. Books and movies were always my escapes from reality.

Both my parents fought most of the time, mostly about money and my mom after she caught my father cheating on her until one day, they both got a divorce and my father left us without anything.

Maybe for some that would cause someone NOT to want love or to believe in it but I was different from the others.

I never spoke with my father after he left and at the time I was only 9 years old.

My mom a few years later ended up remarrying and although my mother was resistant at first to trust his kindness and genuine love he gave the both of us, she eventually came around and they've been happy ever since.

It wasn't until I saw my first 'adult' film and became a huge fan of Bettie Page, that I discovered a while new world of pleasure-BDSM.

Now there are different stages/types of levels to it and doesn't all involve pain necessarily. The one I prefer and seem to be more drawn towards is the role playing, use of toys, language, male dominance to take charge in the bedroom, being tied up, blindfolded, hair pulling, spanking, etc. I can go on forever.

I haven't had a lot of sex, but have had sex a few times before with my exes. Not many were into having sex with me in general to begin with and would cover parts of my body though like my stomach and things like that because it 'disgusted' them.

I've been ridiculed and bullied about my curves since I became an emotional eater after my father left us and started getting curvy at the age of eleven. When trying to suggest we try something 'kinky' they would either tell me to lose weight first or just flat out tell me that wasn't going to happen.

So all together, between bullies and my exes, confidence in my body became my truth in a way about myself, even to this day.

Besides, not many are into pleasuring me or give me what I'd like to have. So why fight it, right?

Then there's always toys to help keep you company.

Although I write romance, I add 'adult' scenes of usually what I would like, but not all of it like the BDSM itself part.

I have a great fan base and all but am always wishing I could have what my characters have-a gentleman and who's open minded in the bedroom.

I love my best friend Kelsa because one of my favorite things about her is for the both of us. She has some curves and actually used to be big but has lost all the weight and kept it off for five years now. She doesn't always eat healthy though, she has her days but she can afford them since she works out a lot, five days a week.

Today she was coming over before she went off to work to hang out for a bit.

She's a performer at a supposedly popular club although I wouldn't know if it was or not because I'm not a huge fan of night clubs and being around a bunch of drunks.

I hear a knock at the door and call out for her to come in.

"Hey sexy!" She greets me like always with a smile and kiss on the cheek along with a hug.

"Hello Hottie!" I wink at her.

"I don't have much time to hang out today but I can chill for a little bit." She tells me.

"No problem. I got us some lunch." I tell her as I turn around to take the plates and we take a seat on the couch and start eating.

We started talking about movies that were coming out and that we wanted to see then she randomly brought up sex somehow.

"Oh my god I have to tell you about the date the other night." She mentions.

"Oh yeah, with your co-worker, Torro." I remember.

"Yeah. So first if all, the date went great and he asked me out again this weekend. But the best part of that night, was he showed me just how kinky he can get." She grins.

"Wow, at the club?" I asked.

"Yeah." She says.

"Well I guess with what you do you meet all sorts of people." I laugh a little.

"Yeah but still. I mean, he's a performer as well as me and I guess I should have expected it but still, it was AMAZING!" She starts bragging.

"Well that's always a plus." I laugh a little.

"Yeah, I know I've been working there for only a few weeks now but the fact I love my job and met him, oh my god." She says smiling real big as if she's smitten with him already which I have never seen with her before.

"So, wait, he's a stripper also?" I asked.

"Huh? No....wait, do you think I got a job as a stripper?" She asks.

"Well, yeah. Between the outfits I've seen you wear and everything."

"Oh god no. Girl, I'm a Dominatrix at the club." She laughs.

"What?" I asked as if I hadn't heard her correctly.

"Yeah, I am a Dominatrix there and he's a Dom also." She states.

"What kind of a club lets you perform those kinds of things?" I asked.

"It's called the Dungeon. It opened a few months ago and is very popular actually." She mentions.

Wow, never heard of a club being like that. Also, I guess I should have picked up on what she did with the mostly pleather type outfits she has worn since she started working there. Then again on the other hand, I thought that was her style there as a stripper.

I'm intrigued but yet, also a little surprised that there is a place like that and that my best friend didn't tell me much about it until just now. On the other hand, I haven't mentioned to her that I'm interested in that stuff. I admire her bravery.

"So, do you have paying customers actually come in and have you do what they want you to to them or how does it work?" I asked.

"Why, you interested?" She asks as she wiggles her eyebrows up and down.

"No, just asking." I reply as I drink my water nonchalantly.

Next chapter will be posted soon! :)

Hey guys so here's the sneak peek to this new story that will actually be posted this Sunday. Sorry also if this isn't a great first chapter but I promise it will get better and I hope you give it a chance. :) Love you guys. :):)

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