Holy Matrimony

In the Spotlight, Losing their Religion

The Pope was doing popely things on the alter, talking about god in stuff. Y'know, religion.

The Mega Church has had some renovations in the past year. The Pope randomly requested that all the walls be destroyed and replaced with closets. Imagine a normal church but the walls, all the way up to the ceiling, were doors. It was kind of eerie.

During a sermon, creeping noises came from one of the closets. A noise that rattled the crowd. The wall murmured to the people, and it became deafly silents. The Pope glanced around at all the closets.

"Something is there!" A man hollered. "How dreadful!" A woman cried. Children started sobbing.

The Pope sighed shakily, "Calm down everyone. It will be alright."

More closets started acting up. Sounds echoed throughout the cathedral.

The people started to leave in droves, only the most religious stayed. Cried into their praying hands to slay these closet murmurs.

Then, all the closet doors simultaneously oppened. The remaining folk jerked upwards, almost ready to run. People at the door stopped to witness the horror to rear its head.

"My people..." the Pope said calmy, his serene voice calming the church gooers.

"I have a confession."

The few people left began to walk closer to him, wordlessly, waiting for what he had to say.

"I have a..."

Suddenly, through the doors, droves and droves of people came out. All genders. All races. All nationalities. They all wore little clothes, some wore none. The mass of people surrounded the Pope.

"I have a harem."

A young man and woman within the harem came through the crowd and posted themselves at the Pope's side. They took his hands in theirs, as if to emphasize the message.

The remaining crowd blinked, in shock. They stared at their idol.

Then, the audience keeled over, they cried out with howling shrieks of pain. Their eyes clenched shut as each of them writhed on the floor, clutching their stomachs. The glass panes shattered. Ancient mosiacs lost.

"What's-What's happening to them, Popey?" A woman from his harem cried.

The floor of the cathedral started sinking. The alter remained still.

The floor then collapsed, revealing a sinkhole like nothing of this Earth.

What came through this sinkhole was a singular being. It had the shape of a human, but it was not. It was liquid. It was red.

"You've freed me," it's voice came from everywhere.

"What? Who are you?" A harem man demanded.

"I thank you," it bowed, it's liquid body moving like the heat off a road in the summer.

The Pope remained silent, his hands tightly around the man's and women's hands next to him.

"Okay bye." The liquid absorbed into the ground.

Then the Pope and his harem lived happily ever after, and they had to repopulate the Earth! The end :)