Unexpected | Jaehyun [Book 2] [Ongoing]

6 | Angel Kwon

I LIKED BEING ALONE BUT didn't like knowing I was. And when Sooyoung forced Jaehyung to drop her off at W&W, the rendezvous point before they fly it for their trip, that was how I felt. Ate popcorn and drank soda, the hours crawling as I looked to afternoon cable for entertainment. Come evening I'd meet up with Dara, we'd cab it to Snowflake (nobody wanted to be the designated driver). I knew Dara wouldn't abandon me since the sole cause for this outing was for two friends to try and engage and have fun. Dara would use this opportunity to remember what it meant to spend a night on the town single. I doubt it was meant to be nostalgic, it wouldn't be for me if I were her. Not because she had someone now, but that it felt so much like holding on to the past.

   From experience, I learned that yesterday should never be clinged to. You either choose to accept better yesterdays by enduring today or have hope that today can be more and rise to the challenge of making it a reality.

   Just never have flashbacks and be wistful. That kills. And if you were a crier, you'd cry. I was more take very long walks over very long distances with a can of vending machine soda. By the time I start to break sweat and become aware of my throbbing legs if I stopped walking, I draw up every reason to be grateful, then be grateful.

   Evening finally arrived. Dara made us leave ten minutes early so we have some time to spare, wait it out a few, then waltz in when it was seven sharp. In this way we came off as people with a life, who planned before they did anything. Dara's belief. I made no comment on this because she was paying. After watching Jaehyung and Sooyoung walk out the front door to cater to their other businesses, like busy people, I didn't want to see myself left behind and spend the rest of the day feeling like the third one without ambition.

   Now here I was at the bar with Dara. Minseok's eyes sparked with familiarity and he came over, greeted us while wearing a smirk that was meant to convey an inside joke. Our inside joke—that his nauseating drink had spilled down my front last time. He couldn't be referring to the uneventfulness of afterwards in the back room. I noted how attractive he was for the second time. The un-Minhyuk-ness of him. At this rate I was beginning to wonder if I low-key just hated Minhyuk, but I think it was the dislike that came with knowing someone was attracted to you and you would never feel the same way. Wishing for their sake that they would go ahead and get a life.

   I sipped my drink—vodka, neat—taking in the rest of the nightspot. It was crowded but not in-your-face crowded like they actually took into consideration the number of patrons permitted in at a time. So there was space to breathe, the music still loud and crappy however, quieter around the bar area. That stuffiness particular to these kinds of places, of perfume and sweat mixing in that musty way. I recognized a few faces I only saw from behind screens, astounded they were actually real because I would think nothing on TV ever was. Minseok asked if I was good, then left; told us we could signal him if anything.

   'I didn't know you had friends here.' There was a glint in Dara's eyes.

   'That he's friendly doesn't make him my friend. That's just his framework,' I said, in the moment relating to Sooyoung when we were teasing her this afternoon. Minseok was helpful, meaning didn't have to be read into his deeds. What was wrong with giving anything for nothing, no ulterior cause whatsoever?

   'Yeah? But your drink looks to have been served with more care.' Now she wasn't making any sense which made me think Dara was simply out for being irritating. Perhaps a coping mechanism in Jeongsu's absence. I started second-guessing coming out—push the pointless insecurities aside and stayed home. Then Dara drank from her glass of same order as if to assure me that yes, she had wanted to rile me up.