S*** JUST GOT REAL

A mental health journey...

I hope you can lend your beautiful ears for a moment of your valuable time. I humbly and modestly assure you that you will not want to stop reading.

I must warn you of contents of adult nature: 'Recounting my painful past."

We are all a collection of experiences, and we learn from these experiences; whether, 'good or bad.'

I will give you some insight and perspective of a an "anonymous Joe"  'Falling through the cracks'

My goal is to reach out to anyone  and not only "set my mind free" but maybe help someone somewhere in the world do the same and understand "we are not alone"

There are 7 billion people on this planet, therefore someone somewhere is and understands what we have experienced. It never ends "unless we put an end to it"

It's not easy talking about your "deepest darkest secrets and inner thoughts" because we never really intend on ever sharing
them.

Sharing your inner thoughts is a 'big deal' for anyone - let alone someone battling mental health issues, we lock it up and never speak of it.

(spoken) It's not like I'm introducing myself: 'Hi, I'm Mr. anonymous'  I am bi-polar, depressed, have PTSD and major anxiety how are you doing today?! They would be running by the time we had the chance to finish.

We don't show how we feel and we sometimes put up a facade to get through simple tasks i.e., getting groceries, gas, a haircut, basically 'anything having to do with being social,' 'It's a feeling of disparity and hopelessness.'

It's no easy feat for anyone to recollect and address their underlying issues, especially when sharing it out in the open and with the world.

I went and sought out some help when I was 22. I decided to go and see a psychiatrist. It was year 2005.

My psychiatrist was in the upper echelon of Psychiatry and was located in the 90210.....'Beverly Hills'

My very first visit, I unleashed and didn't hold back. This was was my chance to fight for 'ME' I conveyed my indelible collection of experiences and cast all my vulnerabilities away. It was overwhelming but felt reborn and was and is of grave importance to let go and to move forward and to not let the unpleasant past consume you and to move forward. Easier said then done, right? Healing is a, "step-by-step" process.

The Psychiatrist was or what seemed as if he were in a 'state of shock' In a nutshell - He was intrigued and surprised I was still alive to tell the tale.

Anyhow, after a long (what seemed like a lifetime) appointment, he diagnosed me with only some of the following:

MDD: "Major Depresssive Disorder."
GAD: "General Anxiety Disorder,"
Severe bi-polar disorder.
PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
ADHD: Adult Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

It's never ever too late to get help, EVER. I have been battling mental health since I sought out help in 2005 and currently it's been 14 years of "ups and downs" I unfortunately wasn't ready to fully commit to medication, so I had to constantly go through the process with all sorts of drugs and medications which shouldn't be surprising these days. Anyhow, side note- Since October 2018, I have been clean 1 year!