imnotgoodatgoodbyes ;)

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*winter bear  played in the air*
he looks like a blue parrot.. would you come fly to me? 🎶

okay that actually not sounded really good.
i walked out from the bathroom happily as i already got my present for my precious taetae to celebrate our coming anniversary after 4 years being in a lovely relationship.

done clothing, i rushed to a gucci brand watch that i bought today for taetae who was now abroad :( but it's okay tho. i could've call him tonight and surprised him.

hmm.. maybe i shall wrap its box so it'll become more surprise.. yess

i smiled excitedly after my plans. hoping that it would be a big and memorable surprise for him since i never bought him a present before :( finished gluing a pink ribon on top of it, with some cute words i wrote on the wrapper, i felt really impatient to show it to him.

he might be getting really shock then tells me to open this gift faster. haha

right on the time, my phone rang. it clearly seen that taetae was calling me. i sat down on my bed with the present beside me before answering his video call.

heyyy i miss you so much taetae.
-yeaa hhah me too

i could feel his awkwardness by seeing onto his face. but well he might be just tired

um y/n. i uh- have something to tell you.
-yea me too. i said with exhilaration.

he just smiled in response. from his expression, i could see that he was frustrated and unhappy over something. oh yea, maybe by showing him this present would help him get better. i thought while trying my best to hide my delighted face.

i grabbed the box and slowly lifted it to the camera.

hey! look what i get-
-we should break up.

i abruptly dropped the box, blinked my eyes few times, showing bewildered. did i misheard it?

wh-what? i managed myself to say with my already shaky voice.
-i hope that u won't be shocked with my sudden decision but i think we shall break up. i'm sorry.

i gulped down then penetrated deep into his eyes, not believing a word he told me. i tried to hold my shaky breath and my tears from cascading down from my watery eyes.

why? we've been together for a very long time taehyung .. i took a deep breath after words came out. i knew i was near to cry.
-i'm sorry y/n. it just that i couldn't keep up with you nowadays. i think that you should find someone better to take care of you.

on that moment, the only thing i could do to was closing my eyes tightly, gritting my teeth together and held myself stronger. not even a word could came out to respond him.

*sigh* i love you y/n and i know you love me too. but now i am so busy with tours and i don't even know if i can still spend some time with you or not. i don't want you to feel neglected or alone there. that's why i made this decision to break up with you.
-tae,, i don't. even. fuckin care about you being far away from me because. i always feel you here within my heart. can you please. just stop saying this nonsense?

i took the beautifully decorated box that i actually supposed to show him tonight but--

tae.. i bought this for you today. i showed him the box but didn't look him in the eyes, knowing that it would just make me weaker. beads of tears already dripped down from eyes onto the bed sheets.
-*sigh* i hope that you'll give that to your new boyfriend. i'm trully sorry for what i've said right now. please take care of yourself just like how i would take care of you before. and one thing, don't ever care about what other people said about your appearance because you are truly perfect. don't let them bring you down. i'm sorry y/n. i'm sorry that i can't stand up for you anymore. i'll miss you.

_video call ended_

after holding myself for too long, i finally let everything out. i bumped my face onto the pillow and cried as much as i wanted, cried like i never been so hurt before. i love you, tae. why i can't just have you?

the end.

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