From Eden

when my time comes around

"God dammit, Bella," Jacob curses, lifting the barely-coherent girl into his arms. "Quil, go back to the Clearwater's and tell them I'll be there after I drop Bella at my place. Don't tell them what happened here." Quil nods and takes off into the woods, no doubt taking a well worn shortcut that the pack knows. I'm left kneeling in the rocks, looking up as Jacob mutters under his breath, shifting Bella's weight. "You. You come with me. I'll leave you two at my house to warm her up."

"Of course." I follow him at his pace as he jogs back to his house, kicking open the door with no effort. The smell of the wolves is more prominent in his house, but so is the scent of cigars and sandalwood. That must be what Billy smells like when he's not masked by the pack. "Jacob, I can't warm her up myself. I'm frozen."

"You think I don't know that?" He hisses after he's put Bella down on his couch. "You think I'm not aware that you're a leech? Get me some clothes from my room." He's removing Bella's shoes and working on her soaked jeans. His gaze isn't inappropriate and his touch never lingers. Those details are what make me okay with dashing to his room, snatching a few shirts and pants to layer her up. "Thanks." He redressess Bella, who's coming to more and more as time goes on, and then he's stalking back toward the door once she's dressed and curled under a blanket. "You know how to make a fire? We have a fireplace. There's a TV if you want to watch something. I don't know what vampires watch on TV, anyway, but whatever. Give her more blankets if she stays cold. There's tea and hot chocolate in the kitchen. Try not to fucking kill her while I'm gone, please."

Then the boy is gone, taking off into the woods as he strips, and I am left with the buzzing of the home's electronics and the chattering of Bella's teeth as she whimpers on the couch. I take a deep breath, focusing on the smell of Jacob and Billy, before tossing another blanket over Bella. I stoke the fire to life and put enough wood in the place to last for a few hours. Then I'm onto making some tea, trying not to touch anything in the kitchen more than necessary. I don't want to or need to leave my scent in this house, so light steps and minimal contact is my goal. By the time that I return with the tea, mug warm in my hands, Bella's sitting up and rubbing at her eyes. "Greta?" She says, brows furrowed, "Greta, what happened?" Her voice is thick and raspy.

"You should probably tell me that, honestly. I fished you out of the ocean and Jacob resuscitated you." She takes the tea, making a face when she scorches her throat by drinking too fast. "I found your shit by the cliff after we chased Victoria halfway to Canada." It feels weird to refer to myself and the pack as a collective, but nice in a way.

"I just wanted to feel closer to Him." Bella closes her eyes, voice small and pathetic. "He made me promise not to do anything dangerous, so when I do I feel like He's here, warning me. I just... It was so bad today. It hurt so much, and you and Jake were gone at a meeting..." I'm flabbergasted, sitting down on Jacob's coffee table so that I can face Bella. I temple my hands in front of my face, eyebrows tugged tight together.

"I'm sorry, let me get this clear. You... Jumped off of a cliff to feel closer to your ex-boyfriend?" She averts her eyes, shame crawling up her face, "Because your two other friends weren't around? Bella, are you okay?" I put my hand on her knee, her shivering body shaking under my touch, "I'm serious, are you okay? That's not an okay thing to do, and it really makes me worry that you're not telling us about something." She looks back at me, surprised, with tears welling on her waterline. "We can get you help if you feel like you want to hurt yourself."

"You're the first person to offer that. Charlie just wanted to send me back to Arizona..." She wipes her eyes with the dry sleeve of one of Jacob's long sleeves. "I don't know what I need, Greta, but it hurts so much without him. I feel so stupid for feeling this way..."

"Bella, it doesn't matter what triggers the depression. It's still valid, and you still need help dealing with it. If you don't want to go to a professional, I can act as your therapist if you want. Or I can reach out to some old colleagues and get you in with them. Between this and the bike story, I'm not sure you can do this alone anymore. You certainly cannot rely on Jacob and I for emotional stability. It's not healthy." She nods, hiccupping as she drinks the rest of the tea. "Jumping off of a cliff when a storm is rolling in isn't something you do to feel closer to an ex. It's something you do to kill yourself."