The story you are about to read will primarily be humorous, but it does touch on graphic topics such as racism, blood, gore, pornography and other sexually explicit themes, extreme and sometimes gratuitous violence, severe mental illness, torture, alcoholism and other addictions, most kinds of abuse, genocide, slavery, and allusions to (but never direct depictions of) sexual assault. If you are sensitive to any of these topics, I simply wish for you to know that with the exception of the violence these topics will be few and far between. Please proceed with as much caution as is necessary to assure your comfort; after all, I wrote this to be entertaining, not misery porn.
~J.D.
