Excerpts & One Shots

[Excerpt] - Tara (C)

Tara sat on the edge of her bed, biting at what was left of her sore fingernails. She had been watching the clock on her phone that was sitting behind the fresh crack on it's screen that came to be when she threw it at the wall. Her frustration was building and her stress and anxiety were at an all time high, trying to find a solution to what she thought was a dilemma, "I just... don't know.." she said to herself, again, for the thousandth time that week. She let out a heavy sigh as she placed her face into her hands. The light on her phone dimmed and she slowly looked back up to its spot on her floor in front of her, just in time see the light go out, leaving her nestled by the darkness in her room.

You couldn't see the tears falling down her face, but her hushed sobs would assure you that they were there. It was her way of venting each time her mind reached an impasse, seeing no easy way to deal with a given situation.

"That's life..." Tara thought, "why can't you just stay happy with the things you were so lucky to get in the first place..."

She wiped the tears from her face and scanned her dark room for nothing in particular. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, "maybe I wasn't meant to be happy with him.. I make him happy, but I'm not..." Her right hand impacted hard against her forehead, causing her to wince in pain, but it did what it was supposed to. She ended her train of thought, knowing it would result in her shedding more tears for a list of problems that she felt were bigger than the world .

Tara just sat there, not moving, her hand still resting against her throbbing forehead. She finally went to stand up, her legs struggling to support her as she made her way to her bedroom door. Her eyes shut immediately as she opened it, in response to the seemingly blinding hallway light that was directly outside of her room. Rubbing her eyes, she blindly fumbled down the hallway, hugging the wall until she found the light switch and turned off the light. She opened her eyes and blinked rapidly, trying to readjust them to the dark. Looking to her side, Tara stared at the crack in the doorway that lead to her older brother's room. She pressed off the wall and slowly made her way to his door, with each step, becoming that much more aware of the weak light from a lamp by her brother's bed.

Tara crept into the room, seeing it was empty except for the wandering eyes of the puppets that her brother collected that sat along the wall. With her expression still showcasing the heavy emotion she was feeling, she carefully closed the door and walked over to her brother's bed, taking a seat towards the head. She sat up straight with her hands by her sides, thinking all the thoughts she didn't want to.

"I feel like it'd be so much easier... I know it would be better..." Tara laid back on the bed, "it wouldn't solve anything... but I wouldn't have to worry about solving any of it any more... and neither would he."

Tara tilted her head toward the pillows on the bed and slowly slid her hand toward, then under the pillow closest to the edge. She let her hand stay there and closed her eyes tight, trying to keep more tears from coming out. Her hand came sliding back from under the pillow, holding a pistol. She forced herself to sit up, the gun resting by her side. Tears started falling again, the feeling of fear and anguish painting itself over her face.

"Brandon... I'm.. I'm sorry I'm too much of a coward to face anything... Terrance... I'm... sorry you'll have to come home to... this, in your bed..."

Tara bit her lip as hard as she could, trying to keep her sobbing as quiet as possible. She hesitantly brought the gun up and pressed it firmly under her chin. Her breathing was quick and heavy, but soon it began to slow down and relax. All she had come to worry about, didn't seem to matter in those moments. She realized this was her way out, and she won't have to suffer ever again. Her tears stopped, with her eyes still closed, a slight smile eased on to her face, then she pulled the trigger.

Hours passed before her brother, Terence, came home from a late night out with his friends. He went into the kitchen first, grabbing a bottle of water to drink before heading upstairs to go to bed. Making his way up the stairs he saw the rarely opened door of his sister's room, giving him a chance to see the bed that she wasn't in. He thought nothing of it and kept his focus on getting to sleep. He opened the door to his room, seeing Tara laying across his bed, "you do have a bed of your own, damnit.." Terence leered.

As he got closer to her, he noticed the gun that was in her hand- his gun. Terence dropped the water bottle and rushed on to the bed, "Tara?! Tara!" He shook her violently until he saw her eyes flicker open, accompanied with inaudible sounds of someone that just awoke from a deep sleep. She looked around in a daze, confused as to why she's still in her brother's room.

Terence looked at her with concern and slight disappointment, "... Tara... What were you trying to do?"

Tara sat up quietly, rubbing at the underside of her aching chin. She looked down at the gun that was in her hand , confused and fighting the urge to try what she had again in hopes to escape the situation she had now found herself in, "I... How come..." Tara spoke in a low, raspy tone of voice.

Terence took the gun from his sister and started to cry, "it's an airsoft gun, Tara... with plastic pellets... it's not real... why would you.."

He couldn't get his words out, he was so choked up at the idea of what could drive his baby sister to try and take her own life. Tara kept her gaze focused on the floor with the blankest of expressions on her face, "I can't do it anymore Tere... I don't want to put up with the world, or the problems it throws at me... The decisions, the pain, the wanting... I just want to be done with it all, for good." Terence didn't know what he could do or say. His mind went blank, with the only thing in his mind being an image of what could have been, if the gun he had was real.

He took his arms around his hurting sister and pulled her close to him. He couldn't find the words to respond, but his action communicated what he would have, loud and clear- he didn't want to lose his little sister.