To you that's been hurting.

Please don't hurt yourself again. This will be the last time you're going to talk with him. Promise yourself. Please don't hurt yourself again. Don't pull the scab again. Please let the wound heal.

Please let yourself heal. Please. You know how much worthy you are.

It's okay to be sad. For as long as you need. It's okay to be heartbroken. Let yourself ride it out because it's the best way of healing the heart.

My darling. You are so precious. Don't let yourself destroy for a just one particular guy.

Thought that you've given the world
Thought that you'd given best of you.
Thought that you've been there.
Thought that you've done well.

And all of them.
Just for him.

You've prayed for him for every single du'a.

Praying that he could be a good man.
A good son.
A good person.
A good person.

Praying that He would give him the best in his life.
Praying that Allah would give strength.
Strength in his life through difficulties.
Strength in his studies.

You've even cried because of him. Not once. But they're uncountable.

The saddest part is. You're not even praying for yourself because you've been putting his happiness first in your life.

Though he even ranked first in your dua,whenever the place should be your parents.

You know that it's wrongful thing to do. But what could you do. You love him so much. That you're not forgetting him in every dua that you make.

Because you know.
Someday, somehow. He'll eventually turned to you.

And.

You're wrong...

You've found it that it is wrong.
You've started to regret everything.
Because you gave him everything you have.

Because you think that you'll get that thing from him.
A little thing called love.

Nah.

It's not a little thing.

It's really big. It is.

Thinking that you could win over his heart. You're so wrong. So wrong.

But.

ALL of this thing would never be happened.

WOULD NEVER BE HAPPENED.

If you don't react with the love that have been given.

Why should you pretended to give me the same love?

What's with the smile?
The smile when you passed by my class? Every single time.

Why should you secretly looking at me and pretended that you're not when I caught you up doing the actions???

Why should you pretended to care for me?

What's with that -secretly following me?

Showing up out of nowhere?

Please, why should you do that. All of the thing.

Why dude? Why?

I guess we had the same feeling. I guess that I had successfully changed you for a better person when I'm trying to be one of it.

I'm making my life more positive. Day by day.
My heart gets soften because of you.
My life changed because of you.

No distant between me and Allah.
I told him everything about you in my prayer. With the tears in my eyes. Heart fully.

Never had I thought that you could change my life.
When I'm becoming closer with the Quran.
When I'm becoming closer with the one and only. Allah.

Day by day, I got more strength to live my life in a more positivity because i want you to live in it too.

I wanna be the one who give you the strength to live your life.
To strive in your studies.
To make you to have a dream again..
To help you create the smile again in your face.
To throw all of the messy thing in your head and mind.
To make you're not over thinking about your  problems.
Because all of em really affected you in a truly disaster way.
You know it too. That's the fact.
_________________________________________
I don't know, dude.

After all, yeah i guess that I'm wrong to have the thought that - you'll have the same feeling too.

You went again for her. Even though, you've been hurted.

You've desperately want her so much. That you cried over her. Telling that you want her. Only her.

And the one that I've been taking care of for so long time.

In one night, he's been destroyed for a foolish love.

He destroyed himself in the most crucial test in his life.
Because of that one particular person.

And you'll never know of how much heartbroken I'm to see him destroying himself after all of the efforts that I've been putting into him.

In your studies.
When we know it too. You. Yourself want to strive in it.

But after all. You. Yourself. You're the one who've been crashing it by your hand.

Settling down. And you regretting the foolish mistake.

But what you could do. It's just no use to cry over a spilt milk.

But still, you beg your knees down over her again.
Haha. Funny.

Guess you're happy now, huh? With that girl that have been hurting you?

Destroying you?

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And now i found myself destroying myself.

Thanks to you.
My heart aches too much.

It's so hard for me when I'm getting something bad in return after all of the blood, sweats and tears that I've putting into you.

Loving you so faithfully with my heart.
Loving you so bad. So mad.

Know that it's sounds crazy. But for the past almost 4 month.

There's no day. No minutes that have been passed- without I'm thinking if you.

Funny? Crazy?
But yeah, it's the truth. And I'm too. Getting headache just from thinking of you.

That's the prove that shows how much i love you.

No joke. I'm telling you the truth. This is not that kind of thing called metaphors.

It's the untold truth
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And now, what i could i do?
I've been destroying myself.
The good me that I've been built for the passed month.
The good me with good word.
Soften heart. Strong heart. Strength heart. Faithful heart.

I'm destroying myself. I'm getting back to the old me. And even more bad.

Well, that's the point when I had thought that,

"I'm changing myself just because of you.

But, Not because of Him-

Allah. The one and most merciful."