Predictable

one

/savannah/

Lately my life seems like everyday is just repeating itself. Nothing special ever happens. I wake up, go to school, come home, go on social media, then go to sleep. It's the same all the time.

I don't really have many friends I have one, her name is Kayla. She has several other friends but I just kind of tag along when they're around.

Basically I'm just a reject.

I don't really do anything to stand out, I keep to myself and stay out of people's way.

I've dyed my hair a few times but that's the most drastic thing I've done to stand out. Currently my hair is its natural brown but I've been thinking about dying it again.

Lets just say that I would rather sit home on my computer then go out and socialize with people in person. I can act pretty calm and put together online but in reality I worry about everything and silently freak out.

I hate the feeling of being judged, that's why I don't really like going out to parties and things like that.

I feel like no matter what I do people are always judging me.

I used to get bullied pretty bad, everyday someone would come up to me and call me things like "ugly" "fat" "stupid" "retarded" and "worthless".

When the bullying got really bad I kind of just shut down. I stayed away from all my old friends and locked myself in my room.

I don't think anyone even noticed which I was really happy about. I just kept fading away staying as far away from people as I could.

Kayla was the only person I really talked to. Whenever she was hanging out with other people I chose to stay home.

She always tried to convince me to be more social. I tried sometimes but other times I felt it wasn't worth it.

Eventually I just tried to escape the real world. My escape just happened to be social media.

I know that most people think that social media is a bad place for people with depression or people who are unsure of themselves, but it helped me. A lot.

I discovered these people who took my mind off things and made me feel better. Like I wasn't such a fuck up.

I found people on vine, twitter, instagram, youtube, and all other sorts of social media.

When I watched their videos I would find myself actually laughing. I was really happy, not faking it.

All my worries seemed to go away when I watched their videos, for a little while at least.

My favorites were by far the 'magcon' boys. They made me laugh no matter what. No matter how bad my day was watching their videos made it better.

I know that they technically aren't part or the magcon tour anymore but what else are we suppose to call them without having to name every single one of them?

Anyways I hate going to school, it gives me really bad anxiety. I don't mind the whole learning and homework thing, it's just the people.

-

"C'mon it's just one party" Kayla said trying to persuade me. I thought for a second "Kayla, you know I feel about party's.." I trailed off.

"Please" she tried again. "Ugh I'll think about it" I said to get her off my back, but I really didn't want to go.

We weren't just talking about any party, this was Alex's party.

Alex is the most popular guy in school. He could basically get any girl he wanted whenever he wanted.

I don't feel comfortable around small groups of people let alone a whole houseful of people including practically everyone from our school.

I know I promised to think about it but the odds weren't looking good. I really don't want to go.

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Alright so the beginning of this chapter was just kinda to explain the main character. So yeah.. And the picture attached is what she looks like. I'll try to update soon bye.