Perfect Duet

The Beginning of the End *TW*

It's been months since Brendon's dad died. We've been back to work and all is well in the classroom, but outside the school he has changed drastically. He no longer randomly texts me to come over at 2 am because he can't sleep and he needs cuddles. He no longer sings when he does house work. Everything seems to be a chore for him and I'm scared. I have fallen for my coworker and I miss my best friend. I know that losing a parent is hard and I'm not asking him to get over it... I just hate how different he is when he's grieving. He's become suicidal and it scares me so bad because I don't want to get the panic call from his mom or the hospital, telling me that he is in critical condition. 

I don't think I'd be able to handle losing him, he means way too much to me. I know we have only known each other for almost a year now, but this has been the best year of my life. I let him leave by himself for the first time in months and I honestly don't know why I did that, he just hasn't been doing his best today. I guess I just didn't want him to feel like I'm babying him... he is his own person after all. He didn't tell me where he was going, he didn't tell me when he'd be back, he didn't tell me anything other than he was leaving and that he loves me. I sigh and wait for him. And I wait for him... and wait for him... and wait. It was 5:00 pm and I still hadn't heard from him.

3 hours had gone by and I had no idea where he was or what he was doing and I began to worry more than I was before. I pick up my phone and begin to call him. I count the rings and finally I reach voicemail. I call again, but it was another fruitless attempt. I called once more, but to no avail I got nothing but his voicemail again. Something was up and I knew it. It wasn't like Brendon to leave for more than an hour without telling me where he'd be, what he was doing and when he'd be home; now I decide to go and search for him.

 I know I said before that I wanted to let him be an independent human, but I also said that today was one of his worst days in a while. I fear that I'm going to find him dead somewhere, or at least have a note. I get in my car and begin to drive. I don't know where he would be, this is my first time ever really being with him when he was sad like this. I guess the first logical place to look is his mom's house, so that's where I head off to. When I reach momma Urie's house I knock on the door and she answers.

"Hey Dallon, what brings you here?"
"Have you seen Brendon? He's been gone for a couple hours and I don't know where he would be"
"He's not here, but he did stop by a little earlier to tell me he loved me and to give me lots of hugs... I had just brushed it off because we did just lose Boyd"
I took in a shaky breath, now fearing the worst.
"Thanks Mrs. Urie" I say softly, biting my lip.
"Of course, let me know when you do find him, yeah?"
"Yeah, of course, I'll talk to you soon." She hugs me, I hug back. She knows how stressed out I am over Brendon, she knows how much we mean to each other. I slowly pull away from her grasp, quickly heading on my hunt to find Brendon.

I search for hours and my fear only gets stronger and stronger. I know that he's probably ok, but I can't stop worrying about him. I call and I text him, but he doesn't answer; I just get his voicemail. There's only one place that I can check now that I haven't before and that's the bridge on the other side of town. I hadn't checked there only because I felt it was unnecessary, Brendon had never talked about ever wanting to go there, even when he was being a bit suicidal. My hands were shaking on the wheel of my car as I made my way as fast as I could to try and find Brendon, I was just hoping I hadn't come too late. 

I park just before the bridge, not wanting to scare Brendon off if he saw my car. I speed walk to where the bridge starts and my stride slows to normal when I see a figure in the distance, sitting on the ledge. My heart skipped a beat for a moment and my hopes of finding Brendon had gotten lifted. Every inch of my body was filled with happiness and hopefulness that this was Brendon. I walked over to the figure and sighed in relief when I was close enough to realize it was Brendon.

He didn't notice I was there, and instead of just saying hi like a normal person, I wrapped my arms tightly around him. He was silently sobbing and tried to pull away from me, not knowing who I was.
"Brendon, babe, it's alright... I'm here, I'm here" my voice was soft, but firm, trying to comfort him.
"I'm sorry Dally... so sorry," he choked out, relaxing into my touch. "I just can't go on like this"
"B, don't talk like that... I'm here for you, I'm not going to let you go, I'm not going to let you feel alone... we can get you help, I love you so much," at this point there were tears falling from my eyes. I pulled him off the ledge, cradling him in my arms. He turned and sobbed into my shoulder, holding onto me. I felt as if I was protecting him. I wasn't going to let anyone or anything hurt him, and I most definitely was going to try my hardest to take his pain away
"I...love...you...too..." he said between sobs. We stay like this, I was just standing there with him in my arms, he soon fell asleep. I took him back home and carried him to his room, that was basically ours at this point, and I held him close while he slept. I didn't sleep, I just watched over him. I was now 100% sure I never wanted to lose him again.