Mariah's existence

October 6, 2014

So, today's my birthday. It's not like any one cares, or even knows for that matter. My birthday has never been anything special, I mean my parents acknowledge it but other then going to dinner with them that's all that ever happens. I don't really have any friends to share experiences like this with, I'm mean it's not sad to me. I've never really had friends and prefer to be alone. I do have one friend though, his name is Andy. We've been friends for about 4 years now, ever since he moved here in 7th grade. He's so popular and everything I don't know why he's still friends with a freak like me, but he's amazing. He's like a brother I never had. Honestly I do think of him as more, but obviously he doesn't feel the same. I just know it, I mean I've never asked him but you can tell. There's been this one girl, Mindy whose been hanging around us at lunch, she's so annoying and beyond rude to me. But she is flawless. I'm so jealous of her. I wish I could be beautiful like her, but I'm not. I can tell, that Andy likes her. How could he not? Welp. I'll be back. School time awaits.

Ahh school. A great black hole that is disappointment. But one good thing did actually happen today, shocker I know. So I got to school and like it was any other day, went to class and so on; but a little into 3rd hour this kid comes into the class with some balloons that say "Happy Birthday" on them. The whole time I was hoping they weren't for me. That would be so embarrassing right? Well of course then they ended up being from me. Great. So he gave them to me and then the teacher made the class say "Happy Birthday" I was embarrassed beyond belief, words cannot explain it. But then I looked at the note attached thinking "Who the fuck would send me balloons let alone knows that it's my birthday?" I honestly had no clue to who it could've been, until I looked at it. The note read "You deserve a great day, Happy Birthday Mariah! -A" I pretty much figured by the messy handwriting in "boy" style that they were from Andy. How sweet. I don't know how he knew it was my birthday though. I've never told him. Every time he would ask I would just ignore the question not wanting a day to be about me. I hate attention so much, it just makes me so nervous. So by lunch I thanked Andy for the balloons and of course he denied it with that cute little smirk he does then laughed and said "How'd you know they were from me?" So I just laughed and said "Well we've only worked on homework how many times together? I'd know that handwriting anywhere" "Oh, haha. Okay" Then of course, right then and there Mindy walks right up behind Andy and gives me the biggest bitch face I've ever seen. Then once Andy notices my smile fade he turns and looks up at her, and smiles. Of course by that time she has a big fake smile on her face and before Andy could even say "Hey" she blurts out, "Oh Mariah, Happy Birthday! I hope you've had a wonderful day so far!" Now, you may think that this is such a sweet and nice thing to say, but she doesn't mean it at all. You can just tell. I don't know why she hates me so much, I've never done anything to her. I didn't even know who she was until Andy started bringing her up into conversations. Ugh. Anywho. It's been a pretty exhausting day, so I'm off to bed. Oh and that cute little note from Andy, yeah I couldn't help but to hang that up on my wall!(: