Never with Me (Book 1)

[13]: Helpless

[Damien's POV]

        It had been three days since we had captured that thing.  Three days of Steven studying it.  Three days of no answers yet.  Everyday, I sat in my office, waiting for him to walk into my office and give me answers.  There was nothing I could do, but wait, and continue to wait.  Since the answers seemed like they were not coming anytime soon, I had allowed Alex a few days of respite to spend with Leilani.  His worry for her palpable in the air.  If I were being completely honest with myself, I was also worried about her as well.  I would secretly watch her from afar, and I noticed how downtrodden her appearance had become over the last week or so.  Each day, she looked worse.  Each day, the shine that she use to have, dimmed just a little more.

        My guilt was at an all time high, and I questioned if my decision to reject her had anything to do with her decline in health.  I didn't know what the severity was for a Lycan to be rejected.  I had never encountered it before.  And in vain, I had contacted several packs across the nation, asking if they knew of any lasting effects there were of rejection, always coming up with nothing as well.  It was unheard of in our generation.  Lycans just didn't reject their destined mates.  And to the outside world, I hadn't rejected mine either.  The only person whom knew I did, was my mate herself, Leilani. 

         It was so unfair for her to suffer this way.  I began questioning myself.  Questions bouncing in my mind, popping up one after another without time for me to answer them for myself.

Was I being selfish? 
Should I just follow what the Moon Goddess had mapped out for me? 
Should I accept my destiny? 
Should I follow my heart, or my mind? 
What do I do?
Could I ever love Leilani as much as I love Rachel? 
Would she be worth me giving Rachel up?
Could she ever measure up to Rachel?
Could I make love to her, and not see Rachel's face?

        I was so confused.  I love Rachel, and I know I do.  But I loved Leilani as well.  But in a different way.  In the way that I had watched her grow up, in the way one would love a sister. 

Right? 
Had I even thought of that before? 
Had I even given the thought of loving her more than that a chance even? 

        My guilt tripled over, realizing that I never had given her, us, a chance.  I had been too arrogant, too stubborn, and wrapped up in my own wants, that I had offered Leilani as a sacrifice for slaughter.  She hadn't deserved what I did to her.  No matter how many times I said that to myself, I couldn't assuage the thoughts of just how selfish I was, am.  She had been an innocent bystander in the Moon Goddess' plans for me.  An innocent victim to my arrogance.  In my own way, I had made her feel less than, because I had chosen to love someone above her.  God, I was a cruel man.

        Just as I was chastising myself over Leilani, I heard a sharp knock on the door.  Telling whomever it was to come in, the door opened, and in walked Steven.

"Damien, glad you are here."

"Hello Steven, have a seat won't you."

"Thank you.  Obviously you know why I am here.  And I think I may have some answers for you, but not all.  We will discuss what you think we should do after I explain to you what I have found out over the last three days as I observed the creature.  If you have any questions for me, please wait until I have finished with my observations first.  Okay?"

"Yes, go ahead."

"First, let me state by saying that it is my professional opinion that whatever this creature is now, it indeed started its life very much a Lycan.  They started out as someone's brother, sister, mother, father, or friend.  You must understand this first, before I continue."

I nodded my head to say yes, and waited for him to continue.

"Now that we know that it started as a Lycan, what it has turned into, I am still at a lost.  I have done blood work countless times, and there are no indications of an type of infection.  I have scanned the creature from head to toe, and there are no abnormal growths.  All in all, every test came back as if it were a normal Lycan.  Nothing wrong with it what-so-ever.  But as you can see with your own eyes, there is obviously something seriously wrong.  I just can not find it."

I looked at Steven, confused asking him, "Nothing, at all?"

"Nothing Damien.  All its levels are absolutely normal.  Now on to my observations of its reactions and movements.  Whatever this creature is, it seems to be able to go into a dormant phase.  Completely immobile, and with static movements.  Only when it is stimulated through one of the five senses will it basically re-animate the  creature.  It lacks any form of humanity, any form of logical reasoning, any form of empathy.  This creature's purpose, it seems, is to hunt and kill our kind.  Its body has adapted itself to do just that.  Added strength, added speed, advanced healing capabilities.  It was made to kill us, nothing else.  Whatever it use to be as a Lycan, has long since died.  However, this creature is not dead in the sense that it's heart has stopped beating.  As a matter of fact, I don't think the creatures have ever even died.  They just transformed into whatever they are now.  At this point, I do not have the knowledge to give you any more information other than what I have collected thus far. I searched every piece of literature I had, and even reached out to my other colleagues, and we have nothing to offer.  It is my professional opinion that you should contact the Elders in this case.  They are dangerous, and if they're more of these creatures out there reproducing, then there is every chance that our pack will be completely wiped out.  God knows, what will happen to the entirety of the Lycan race, if they are not contained now within our lands and the surrounding lands."

Shocked at what Steven had just told me, I sat there for a few minutes absorbing everything he had just told me.  Calling the Elders was no small feat, and they were only called in when circumstances were in dire straits.  Obviously, Steven believed this was just that occasion.  Steven was a serious and astute man, so for him to suggest it, meant we needed to act quickly.

"Are you absolutely positive with your theory that we should contact the Elders?"

"With a doubt in my mind, Damien.  We must act now.  There is no time to waste.  You should have called them yesterday.  One last thing before I go.  I noticed that this creature has some sort of marking etched on the back of its neck.  I drew an example for you, here." He stated, as he slid a piece of paper to me.

"Thank you Steven, you may go.  But please stay close to the main house.  I will need you to come quickly if an Elder has questions."

"Yes, I figured.  I have already spoken to Rachel about a guest room here.  She is preparing it as we speak.  I will come any time day or night that you require of me."

        I watched as Steven sat up from his chair and exited my office. Looking down at the image he drew, wondering what it meant.  I leaned back in my chair, and placed a hand over my face.  For the first time in my entire life, I felt helpless.

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[Unknown POV]

        I had stood in front of Damien's door, listening in on his conversation with the doctor.  I could not let him contact the Elders.  It would ruin all my plans.  Expose my secrets.  I would lose everything, and I will NOT lose what I want.  I must come up with a plan, before everything blows up in my face.