Baby's Breath

**Chapter 5**

Baekhyun lied in bed with a pillow under his skull and another wedged between his legs. For once in his life, the house was deathly quiet, and it was strange to Baekhyun who had gotten used to a sappy drama being played in the next room, the dialogue bleeding through the paper-thin walls. There was no crashing or random pieces of glass shattering, nor the neighbors banging on their front door because Chanyeol was making too much noise. It was just quiet. He hadn't thought a word could feel so lonely until now.

It wasn't like he was worried about Chanyeol. Baekhyun convinced himself that he wouldn't care one bit if Chanyeol went on a one-way trip to the other side of the country, because he'd just shout good riddance! to his annoying stepbrother. He tossed himself onto his side and flipped through another page of his manga, the frames and words blurry and illegible in his head. No, it wasn't like he'd care if Chanyeol was sleeping on another bench somewhere, looking like a complete idiot in front of passing strangers. He deserved it for making his life so utterly miserable.

Again, he turned onto the other side and zoned out as he heard his mother come in through the front door after her long shift, expecting to see Chanyeol first thing. Instead of a hyperactive stepson welcoming her home, she poked her head through Baekhyun's room and stared at her own son sprawled out on his bed.

"Sweetie, where's Chanyeol?"

Baekhyun shrugged.

She set her purse down on top of his desk and sat down on his chair to face him. "Baekhyun," she asked again without the sugarcoating, "Where's Chanyeol?"

"I don't know," he snapped in response, "I told him to get lost, so he's probably lost somewhere."

"Baekhyun!"

"What!" Baekhyun barked, sitting up and glaring daggers at his mother. On top of being so frustrated with Chanyeol, he was also upset at his mother for always taking Chanyeol's side and babying him even if he was just adopted into their family. Never had she cared about what he wanted for once, nor offered to buy him new shoes or things Chanyeol always got just because he was dumber and had special needs. "You never think about what I want, mom! You're always taking care of him when I need you, too! After dad left..." he choked up at the thought of his father, whom he had trusted and respected like no other.

His father was a sports enthusiast like him and taught Baekhyun soccer at a young age. Baekhyun was the apple of his parents' eyes; the perfect son who could do no wrong. He was so naive to think that his perfect, sheltered life would stay together forever. When the economy collapsed and their family business went down in ruins, Baekhyun's father took most of the blow and walked down the road of alcoholism. Once he became a different man, a monster, Baekhyun's parents divorced.

"Baekhyun... sweetie." she coaxed him, taking one of his trembling hands in hers, "Chanyeol is very... very important to me, baby." She stopped talking for a moment, looking down for a long time until Baekhyun felt her warm tears on the back of his hand.

"When your father... started drinking and hitting me... there was a single father who reached out to me. That person was Chanyeol's father. Chanyeol's mother left him when he was just born." she pulled her purse onto her lap and fished out a small, pink booklet of photos. They were all Chanyeol's baby photos, although some were from his elementary days and showed him building wooden cars and drawing. He looked like a normal kid. "You and Chanyeol used to play together when you were young. You wanted to be a soccer player and he... wanted to become a teacher."

"He wasn't..." Baekhyun sniffed, "He wasn't stupid then?" No matter how hard he tried to remember a Park Chanyeol in his past, he couldn't. Then again, he couldn't remember anything from when he was only five or six.

His mother shook her head slowly with a weak smile. "One day, the two of you went to play outside... and..." she paused, "You... pushed him in front of a car."

In that one, pivotal moment, Baekhyun's world suddenly turned black and his hands were sweating bullets. His chest felt numb, like his lungs had forgotten how to breathe oxygen... and he just felt like he had been stabbed with the painful truth. "M-Mom... what do you mean, I... I don't remember... Don't joke around like that..." he laughed nervously, "He... He was stupid from the beginning, wasn't he? Mom, tell me I didn't do that to him!"

"It was an accident, sweetie, you didn't know... you were young..."

She stared at her son with glistening, sorrowful eyes (the saddest eyes anyone could ever have), and dropped her gaze to her lap, slowly stroking Chanyeol's photos with her thumb. "Chanyeol's father didn't press any charges, raised him on his own until he came to me years later asking for us to give Chanyeol a family, a-a br

other who would love him... a mother who could cook him breakfast every morning and send him off to school..." she sobbed, "Poor Chanyeol doesn't know his father took his own life just a few months ago..."

Baekhyun stared at his mother's hand clasped over his, squeezing it tightly as warm tears rolled down his own cheeks.

It was all his fault.

"I-I'm going out for some air," he said in a trembling, broken voice and pushed past her because he really felt like he'd need a fresh intake of oxygen before his lungs would spontaneously combust. His world was suddenly spinning madly, making it difficult for Baekhyun to take a few steps out of his house. Eventually, he leaned against the brick wall closest to him and sunk to the floor, the ball of his palms pressed to his closed eyelids. He felt so god damn sorry for everything he had ever said to Chanyeol because it had always been his fault.

How could he face Chanyeol now without feeling his heart anchor to the pit of his stomach?

He had been sobbing so loudly that the vibrating in his pocket went unheard and unfelt for the first few rings. Then, with trembling fingers, he took the call, trying to lock his voice so it wouldn't give away that he had been bawling just now.

"Mr. Byun Baekhyun? This is the local police department. We'll need you to come over right away on account of Mr. Park Chanyeol being held for questioning here. You seem to be the only contact he remembers."