Unforgettable

Dirty

This story will be starting off written from a young childs prospective, with some here and there narrating from present time, the present time will be in italics.
It's not always meant to sound right or smart or grammatically correct all the time because what 6 year old is? I hope you enjoy.

1. Dirty

Liam Payne was the first of my encounters. I was 6 and he was 8, it's almost feels like a dream, it was that long ago. I would like to say I was innocent at that age but that would be lying. He made me feel like a child again though, with his constant need to play hide and seek, I remember laughing so much my stomach hurt. My home held so many dirty secrets, but with him there it all disappeared. I wasn't afraid.

"Mummy please please don't leave me with Nathan, I promise I'll sit in the car or I'll stay by myself." I grabbed onto the bottom of her dress. Trying not to let the water drop out of my eyes and down my cheek. Mummy said that was naughty. Crying was for naughty girls. Miss Jane said crying was good but since coming back to live with mummy I don't cry.

I felt my little legs start to shake, I thought I was going to wet my pants I was so scared. Scared of him. But mummy would just smack me on the face if I wet myself because she says that's dirty.
Maybe I am dirty.
He makes me feel dirty.

"I said to shut up, do you ever stop your yapping, you black bitch?" Her voice sounded angry and when mummy was angry she was scary.

My mother always called me that, 'black bitch'. From as little as I could remember that was the insult. My skin and hers was different that much I knew from a young age, but I hadn't thought much of it until one day at another "man friend" as she would call it, houses I was allowed to watch tv by myself. I was changing the channels when these Bollywood stars came on I remember thinking how I wanted to be like them with their bright long skirts and lots of shiny jewellery like 'mummy'. And their red dots on their head. And that's when it had hit me. They looked like me. They had the same eyes, skin colour, hair colour, everything. I still remember my mothers face when she found me with a red texta mark on my forehead. Plain shock and horror. Boy did she scream and whack, she used everything from her hand to her flip flop. "No daughter of mine is a dirty Indian." She would scream over and over again. I didn't understand what that meant at the time I think I was in too much pain to comprehend what anything meant. It wasn't until years later did I put all the pieces together.

She looked into the mirror putting her big girl earrings on. They were round and gold and really shiny but she said if I ever touched them she'd smack my bottom so hard I couldn't sleep on it.

I know where she goes though, sometimes when no one can watch me (when I'm lucky) she takes me with her. I get to go to big boys houses, my mum always makes me sit on the floor to watch t.v or look out the window while the adults make grunting sounds, sometimes the big boys are nice and give me a biscuit and some coke, but some of them don't look at me or talk to me. They all give money heaps of money though. I don't mind to much as long as I never have to be by myself with Nathan my baby sitter.

He's a bad man.

I heard the door bell ring making my heart feel heavy and fast. He was here. I couldn't swallow and my neck felt hot. I clung onto mummys leg.

"Get off you git." She slapped my head but I hardly felt it. My whole body felt tingly I thought I would rather die. I watched as she walked to the big brown door, in her pretty big boots.

I felt dizzy when mummy started to open the door but what was on the other side made me almost cry from being happy.

"Hi mrs Herschel." Two girls, not Nathan. I smiled at that. He wouldn't hurt me today. They girls were bigger then me, I had seen them at the shops once, they both had pretty blonde hair.