오전 05:48
i feel ill and lonely. the connections made and the fear the vessel knows what im talking about also means this enigmatic form of speaking. open data. should i confront it and ask/tell it that i feel unwanted, unworthy, that there is better? and that i cannot think of anything else other than the four point map where it avoids and keeps the distance equal at all four corners?
that it doesnt think me beautiful or anything unless its night, and that i hate the idea of seeing me through it. that it sat there under the guise of the fin to be close to the granule? that i am not stupid and know that it feels something under the skin for the grains. it is something that has been bubbling into thickness for a long time, and it may boil over the second i turn away.
but there is also the ugly truth that i seek a replacement too, and though it is also half that it is located easy and familiar, i crave something more, things it cannot provide nor want to. i dont know what to do and it makes me starve. how long will it go on for before something dies?
