The Love Of A Daughter: A Jeremy Renner Love Story

Part 4: If You Want

It's breathtaking. Literally, I cannot

breathe. I blink in surprise as Jeremy

continues to kiss me. I'm lying on my

back, with him halfway on top of me. His hands are on either side of my head, and I cut my eyes over to them. His fingers grip the sheets tightly. Am I making him feel like that? Oh dear. My arms are pinned down on either side of me; I try in vain to move them. Jeremy pulls his mouth off of mine and gasps for air. "Ok then." I say, my eyes wide. Jeremy laughs softly. "I've been wanting to do that all morning." he smiles. I clear my throat and swallow heavily. "Well. You did it. Can you let me up now?"

Jeremy turns over onto his back again, and I sit up. I grab hold of the ponytail holder in my bun and yank it out, shaking my head. My hair seems to flow down my shoulders like waves in the ocean. I've always liked my hair; it's probably my best feature. "You're beautiful, you know that?" Jeremy tells me as he sits up as well. I look at him. "I should really go now." I whisper. Jeremy smiles sadly. "You should." he agrees. We sit in silence for a few minutes.

"I need to shower first. Can I use yours?" I finally break the silence. Jeremy nods and I stand up and stretch. I walk over to the bathroom, breathing deeply. Jeremy's eyes are trained on me, I can tell. My hand closes on the door handle, but I hesitate. "Jeremy?" I whisper. "Myra?" he whispers back. I take a deep breath. "I want to tell you how I got here." I turn around and walk back to the bed, sitting down next to Jeremy again. I close my eyes and draw in another deep breath. "Let me start at the beginning." I sigh.

I tell Jeremy the whole story. I talk about my father and when he first started drinking, although I leave out the reason. I'm not ready to share that just yet. I start to sob when I talk about my mother. I'm still sobbing when I talk about the fight last night and how I ran. I tell him that I ran away from home and left my mother, who's never done anyone wrong her entire life, alone. Alone with that... monster. I tell him that she's most likely dead. I tell him that it's all my fault.

He stays silent the whole time, listening intently. When I finish, the tears are still chasing each other down my cheeks. Jeremy reaches out and grabs one of my hands, clutching it tightly. "It's not your fault. You had to run. No one deserves to live that way, Myra. Especially you. Especially you. Don't you ever think for one second that it's your fault." he says sternly. I avoid his gaze and shake my head. "No, Jeremy. I had no right to leave her like that. I should've stayed, I should've helped her. God, why didn't I help her?" I cry, sobbing harder and covering my face with my hands as I lean over. "It's not your fault, you hear me? You couldn't have done anything more. It's ok. It's gonna be alright, ok? Everything's going to be alright. I promise you, Myra." Jeremy insists. I look up at him and, for the first time, I realize just how much I already trust him.

"You can kiss me again, you know. If you want, I mean." I say quietly. I don't smile, and another tear even rolls down my left cheek. He knows I mean it. He slowly leans forward, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. His palm stays resting on my cheek and he looks into my eyes. I suck in a sharp breath. "What?" Jeremy smiles. "Your eyes are like... magic." I whisper, blushing. And it's true. They really are. They make my heart pound and my head swim. "I was just thinking the same thing about you." Jeremy replies as he leans even closer, touching his lips to mine gently. I lean forward too and our mouths seem to mesh together. I kiss him back this time, not like before. His tongue sweeps across my bottom lip slowly, asking for entrance. I open my mouth slightly, letting it slide in.

I've never been kissed like this before. I mean, sure, I've made out with a couple guys, but none of them have ever made me feel this good. It's like I never want it to stop, just keep going on forever. One of my hands is still held tight in Jeremy's free one, the other squeezing his arm gently. He lets go of my hand and brings his fingers up to touch my other cheek. He then leans forward even more, almost making me fall back onto the bed. I imagine that that is precisely what he's trying to do. I place both of my hands firmly on his chest and push him back. I don't break the kiss, though. I intend to keep going until he tries again. Jeremy chuckles softly, his lips still pressed against mine. He then reaches up and grabs my hands on his chest, holding them tight. He doesn't make an effort to move them, and I appreciate it. He knows I'm not letting him get away with that yet. I smile through the kiss and clutch at his t-shirt with my fingers. Jeremy then pulls away and sighs. "I thought you needed a shower." he smirks. I throw my head back slightly and laugh. "Well, I definitely need one now." I look back at him. His eyes trail lazily down my body and then back up. I scoff and smack his shoulder gently. "What?" he laughs. I roll my eyes and stand up. I actually do need a shower. A cold one. Jeremy lays down on his back and sighs. "I'll be waiting." he closes his eyes. I shake my head, smiling, and stroll over to the bathroom.

I close the door behind me slowly. I'm already so comfortable around Jeremy that I honestly don't feel a need to lock it. After turning the shower on, I pull the t-shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor. I then remove the shorts, throwing them on top of the shirt. I leave my bra and panties on as I walk over to the sink and look in the mirror again. I've always been told I'm pretty, but I've never believed it. Not until Jeremy told me I was. The instant he said it, "You're beautful", I believed him. The way he said it, so genuine, so strong. He didn't even need to say it. He said it because he wanted to. Because he knew it was true. It absolutely melted my heart. So much for not getting involved, eh? Oh well.