"She's Our Next Outcast"

Stares and Whispers

I turned on the bathroom light, my eyes attempting to adjust to the sudden light change. I found a fair-skinned female with naturally beach-waved hair eyeing me up and down. I immediately noticed all of the flaws she was blessed with. Her eyes?  Wrong color. Her hair?  Wrong style. Her skin?  Not clear. But it doesn't matter, it's not like I'm insecure about those things. 

I stuck my hands under the faucet and rubbed the cold liquid into my face. Turning the lights back off, I trudged to my room, dreading the day soon to come. Opening my closet, I wasn't prepared for the memories to come flushing back to me. The yellow crop top; I was wearing it the first time he forced me to...you know. God I regret that. That hoodie for some band that I don't even like; smeared it with mascara when I read the pregnancy test for the first time. Don't worry, it was positive but the test was wrong, I didn't have a baby. Those shoes that squish my toes but were forced onto my feet; fell off when I was running from him. Before I knew it, a single tear fell off of my face. 

Wiping it away, I grabbed a sweatshirt advertising for my dream college on it and pulled it over my head. I grabbed a pair of the most form-fitting jeans I could fit into. "What a slut," my head recited to me. Oh yeah, last time I wore these I was called a slut, tramp, hoe, and any other degrading stab at my self-esteem. Fighting my fears, I didn't take them off. I didn't bother to style my hair since it already looks like I put effort into making it look nice. Walking to my mirror, I heaved a heavy sigh, debating whether or not to wear a makeup or not. If I don't, I'll be ugly, but if I do, I'll be a slut. It took all my willpower to not flush my face with products. I mean, what's the point now, I'm still a reject.

Putting on my sneakers, I grabbed my keys and left home, forcing myself to not eat breakfast or talk to anyone. I speed-walked to my transportation, ready to leave my house in fear of speaking to anyone. Plopping in my seat, I jangled my keys into the ignition and waited for the car to start. As soon as the vehicle awoke, I was off to school. It was only a 5 minute drive from my house, which some people might think is good, but I actually hate it. Why? Because it gives me less time to be away from that hellhole. 

To my demise, the drive felt much shorter than it normally does. I approached the building, terrified. I sat in there, recuperating myself, when I finally had the courage to step out of the car. Big Mistake. 

Every step I took garnered me about 10 more stares and "Oh my god" "They let her come to school." Eventually, it became everyone. Staring and whispering, and Liam, with a smug hidden on his face. Well, actually, it wasn't everyone. There was a group of about 5 or 6 students that I had never seen or talked to before. They didn't whisper or stare; they acted like I wasn't there. One of them finally notices me, but doesn't say anything to me, or the other students he's with. 

I got here about 5 minutes before the first bell rang, so I just had to wait out here, in front of the school, where most of the judging, fights, and outbreaks happen. I found an area where no one was standing and just stared at my phone for the next few minutes. BRRRRR BRRRRR BRRRRR  the bell sounded. Every one started heading for the main entrance to the school. "Maybe in the hallways I'll receive less torment because people are busy," I thought to myself. NOPE.

It was the same situation as the courtyard. Stares and whispers. Walking with my head down, as fast as I can. God, this is awful. I don't know how kids deal with this everyday. Better prepare myself. When I finally got to my locker, a small piece of paper fell out of it. "Great they're leaving notes of torment too," I thought. Well, I wrong about another thing today. The note read, "Come to the library at lunch." "Great. They go out of they're way to do it. But, why do I want to go? It's just bullies. But what if it's not?" my thoughts all collided. UHHHH.

"Okay, I will go at lunch, look through the door, see who is inside, and that will decide my fate," I decided. I put the note in my pocket and trudged onto my first class.