Falling in love with Michael Tomlinson (BoyxBoy)

Chapter One

As I looked up; the starless skies looked down upon me, enveloping me with their darkness. I stared down at my feet and looked at the hole that was beginning to form on the top part of my shoe, the left shoe to be precise. I sighed aloud as the wind picked up pace and started to flap my hair about wildly. I felt the wind viciously pinch at my cheeks, as I pulled my parka closer to my body. I looked up at the skies yet again, but this time I knew what I was going to say, I was going to look up at the skies and ask why? I was going to ask why God was being so cruel to me. Was he punishing me for being the way I am? Did God hate me because I loved someone of the same sex? And in a spiteful way he chose to bestow a horrible thing to make me realise that what I'm doing is wrong?

I felt a tear roll down my cheek at the thought of my love. The lover that I had once shared a bed with. The lover that I once shared a life with. He was gone. He was taken away from me. He didn't deserve what he got. He was too young to be taken away. I felt a whole stream of tears roll down my now wet cheeks, I sniffled and pulled the coat a little closer and it was as if I could almost feel him with his arm wrapped around me, keeping me warm and telling me it's going to be okay. But it's not. Instead it was my imagination. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, there he was. Standing rights there, that cheeky grin on his face and his eyes that light up. He was looking at me and smiling, his arms outstretched indicating that he wants a hug. My legs moved on their own accord, my brain was shouting at me telling me this isn't real and that he's not really here but I didn't want to listen. I continued to move forward. The tears rushing out faster than before, my legs moving faster, heart pumping harder and my breath coming out in short pants.

Every time I thought I was closer to him he seemed to move even further away, as if to get away from me. But id keep moving and failing to get close. Suddenly there was a flash. Jacob vanished and I was left standing in the middle of the park where we had our first kiss. There I was prancing around the park, proudly displaying the affection I felt for him in public. We were walking and I was holding his hand, swinging merrily together. He then stopped and looked at me. 'You're so beautiful Vincent.' He whispered to me, when we sat down on the bench. I stared at him, my cheeks turning the darkest shade of crimson. 'Shut up, Jacob, you sappy loser.' I said in return. He gave a big mischievous grin and leaned forward, 'Oh but its true my love, you're the most beautiful when you're you'. I felt my eyes go wide and giggled a little at his silliness and looked away my cheeks turning even red than before. 'Don't look away lovely' he cooed and turned my head around. He leaned in even more and I felt the touch of his lips on my lips, I closed my eyes as I let him take the lead and kiss me. He tilted my head back and placed his hand delicately on my cheek, his lips moved in sync with mine but the dominance never once leaving him. He took control of the kiss and led the way. I was in another planet, his lips tasted like chocolates and strawberries; he bit my bottom lip, eliciting a moan from me, causing me to blush at my sultry behaviour. He pulled away and stared at me, his eyes staring intently into mine while we both breathed at a fast pace. The breath from us gone and coherent words we wanted to say were gone also while we stared into each other's eyes. Jacob finally broke the silence 'I love you so much Vincent, words cannot explain.' he breathed while staring at me. I looked into his eyes the emotions that swirled around inside them made me want to reassure him. 'I love you too Jacob' I whispered. He smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

The tears came rushing down my face at an intense speed and by then I was sobbing and trying to compose myself, at the memory I just had. That was also the day that he was rushed into hospital. The memory of him being rushed into hospital had me sobbing and whining incoherently. Once Id calmed down I made my way towards the car, and got in. By then the moon was shining so bright it illuminated the whole street.

I pushed the key into the hole and opened the door my apartment. It wasn't much, but it was home. The smell of his scent still lingering around the apartment. The shoes that he use to wear and things just casually laying around and being left in the places he left them, the books in the order he liked them in and the movies that he always loved watching on a cold night, his idea of a perfect cuddle session, thinking back to the days we use to stay indoors in the cold made me chuckle as I pulled the sleeves of the coat out my arms and hung it up on the rack. I looked around the living room and made my way towards the fridge. Staring at me was the picture we took together back in college, the day we went to the pub. Both of us drunk out of minds but still had the energy to sing the whole Brittany Spears Album, on karaoke. I chuckled at the memory and pulled a well deserved beer out the fridge. Walking back to the living room, something caught my eye. I walked towards the boldly coloured words shouting at me from the calendar, it read 'JOB INTERVIEW FOR TOMLINSON AND SONS!' my eyes nearly fell out my head and I nearly dropped the beer from my hand. I totally forgot about the job interview! 'Fuck!' I shouted placing the beer on the table. I searched frantically for my personal statement, in the pile of papers that was neatly stacked on my desk. 'Ah ha! Tried to hide from me did you sucker?' I said to myself. Being confined from humans made me talk to myself, I need a cat I thought. I sighed as I made my way towards the bedroom after placing the personal statement on the desk. I hopped on the bed and made myself comfortable, taking Jacobs pillow and inhaling his scent, after a year of sleeping with someone, sleeping by myself was going to take some getting used to. I snuggled his pillow, and closed my eyes. I've never felt so alone.