Unexpected turns of events

One

Blood. Cries. Shouts. And that everlasting burning smell of fire and burned flesh. It haunts me. It follows me everyday and everywhere I go. I can't escape it. All I can do now is live with it. Even if it's hard. Even if I just want to sleep and let it all after me. But I can't sleep. It won't let me. My memories won't let me. I can play cleansing for others. I can calm their minds but I can't calm my own. I can't calm down. At the outside I smile. I look fine. I have to. I have to keep up a reputation. It's already bad enough that I look like shit. I don't have to break down infront of them too. I'm strong. I can do it. I can survive.

I don't know how long I'm walking trough the streets. I have long lost the track of time. I just put one step after the one before. I just try to come away. To not be caught. They probably be after me. They probably have long found my trace.

I'm tired. Tired of walking. Tired of all. Of my clothes that smell of fire and ash. It reminds me every moment what I lost amd what will not return back to me.

My home the Cloud Recesses are burned down. Destroyed in just a few hours. In just a blink of a moment.
And I? I run away. Like a coward. But can I be called a coward if I just try to live, when I just try to find help.

Looking up I see the first rays of sun. How many day is it that they ruined my home? Probably a few. Looking at myself in a small river, a tired and messy girl looks back.
My robes are ripped and not much reminds of the clean withe color. My forehead ribbon is just long enough for me to tie it around my head. And my spirits are destroyed. Together with my sword. I saw it when they cracked it. It is probably dust now. In the ruins of my old room.

Trying to wash myself at least a bit in the cold water I shiver slightly. Did the others survive? Did big brother Huan survive while saving the books? Did big brother Zhan and uncle Qiren survive? Are they fine? I really hope so. If the heavens are willing I will see them again.

A bit cleaner then before, I start my journey again. If my memory serves me right I'm near the Lanling Jin Sect. They will help me, I hope at least. We are, after all, all victims of the same enemy.

I open my Qiankun bag and I see, that the food I stored there or night hunts, is all used up. I need to find something on my own then. Before all wnet down the river it would be easy. But now. Now it's something nearly impossible for me to archive. I don't habe a sword for hunting. I don't look like someone you want to share your food with, and most importantly I can't be found, not before I'm safe. I don't want to end in the hands of those Wens.

With nothing eat able to be found the whole day, and my wounds who aren't healing that well too, I'm struggling to still set one foot after another.
I. Can't. Die. Here.
I have to avenge my sect. I know it's not righteous or so, but right now I couldn't care less.
But with my momentary condition it looks like it ends here.

I'm tired. Tired of beeing in the run. Tired of my stinking clothes who are smelling of fire and ash. I'm tired of everything. Of loosing and of crying myself to sleep. I'm just plain tired.