Life In the storm

Start And Finish

My life was spent in a storm, drifting around with no control of where I would go. It's hard to live. All I own is this fragile paddle, that would break ever so easily in the strong currents that I float in. There are times when I find myself at the eye of the storm. A paradise. There, no waves are    in sight. Birds fly above, making their screams of joy as they soar the sky. And also the only place I can use my paddle. It is calm. It is peaceful. It would be the place
I would make my home if possible. However, it never lasts long, and back into the storm, I go. How much more fighting must I do?
I'm tired, I'm exhausted, worn out, broken beyond measure, destroyed. Many times have I considered jumping from this last floating piece I stand on and just let the vast ocean swallow me whole, not caring about anything anymore and finally attain peace, the same one I would obtain at the eye of the storm. My arms feel like they're about to fall off, and my legs are begging me to rip them off. Honestly, I do not know why I keep resisting as well. I would've just let it
all go if it meant this could be over with. This crushing feeling of my insignificance whose existence is to only hold on to this little hope below me and hope for the best.
But, at the end of the day, I'm an idiot. I still hope to arrive at the eye of the storm once more. I still hope that I can get to that piece of heaven once more. Even though it is so far away. Even though I can barely see it. It is the
thing I most desire in this tiny existence of mine. Can't I even get that?
I look at my fragile paddle. My only friend. Always at the point of breaking, I almost cry each time I use it. The only one that can help me drift through these unfair waters. The last possession I have.
I cannot do this anymore. Not again. The eye of the storm is not far yet. If I can get there one more time, I don't care if I will have to swim with my own hands for the rest of my life! I'm sick of it! Not anymore! Not another cycle of
struggle, or pain, or dread! I must get it while it's still in front of me!
I'm sorry, paddle, hope you can grant my foolish and egotistical wish of mine. I shall ask of you no more after this. So, please...Please... Get me to my dream! Get me to my home! Even if I have to sacrifice everything I am! Even if I
have to throw out everything I own! Just one more time...Just one more final time... Get me to the place I belong!
The fragile paddle I own, shake violently when it entered the rough waters. It seemed like it was at the brink of destroying itself... But it held. I cried to break through the pain of standing up, and in a fool's quest, I challenge the ocean itself... With my fragile paddle. Many times I thought about letting go. The insufferable pain coursing through every single muscle I still possessed. But that little hope persisted. The progress was slow, but I could notice myself nearing it. Just once more... Just once more... Just once more... with a fragile paddle. The ocean always tried to swallow me whole. To snuff out the last flame I had. And, honestly, I would've liked that. I would've loved that.
But I owned it to my fragile paddle to finish this selfish request of mine. Because, unlike me, he stood strong, always in the brink of breaking in half.
When I finally reached it I couldn't believe it. The peace, the tranquility, I could hear the birds again. I cried again. But it was more intense than in the storm and for a completely different reason. I felt an overbearing joy in my
heart. I...I made it... even when I felt like I had given up oh so many times. Even when the brutality of the ocean reminded me of my weakness oh so many times I managed to get here. With that, my crying was accompanied by a burst of laughter.
And I felt like it was the most genuine one I ever had in my life. I was so glad I wasn't swallowed by the ocean then. I managed to witness the most beautiful thing in my life again. I didn't need to go through the storm again! My body gave out, falling limp to the platform. With the brightest smile on my face, I turn to thank my... now broken paddle.
Thank you, for holding out until the very end, my beloved paddle.