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Entry Two: My cousin's birthday.

I was getting a feeling. Not the same feeling as before, but another feeling. I don't know what about it hurt, but I felt pain. I wasn't in physical danger, but i sure had so much adrenaline that it hurt. The feeling was like, I felt angry, but also sad, but also overly sensitive. But, there was another kinda feeling... It was in my chest, my chest was light and I felt like I could run for hours, I can NEVER run. Like, ever. And this time? I felt like I could outrun a cop car. I actually was so angry that I almost punched my brother. (He was teasing me about my mental illnesses and such.) And I feel like I'm going insane. If I post this, you are lucky to be reading this... And if you read this far in, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to care about me. There's other stuff going on, as well...

I've been having trouble sleeping, having trouble sitting still, and, having trouble not screaming. Just random, blood curdling screaming. I have so many memories of abuse. From toxic relationships to being hit and publicly humiliated. Imagine; you live in a residential treatment center, and that is in a town 30 or more minutes AWAY from YOUR HOUSE. THE PLACE YOU ARE USED TO, THE ONLY PLACE YOU CALL HOME!!!  TO GET HURT AND ABUSED. THEY EVEN DREW ALL OVER MY DOOR WITH THESE HURTFUL THINGS THAT I CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND. ALONG WITH THAT, THEY CLAWED UP MY FACE AND LEFT A SCAR THAT IS STILL THERE!!!!!! FUCK YOU. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. BLAZE HARPER. I DON'T CARE, I'LL EXPOSE YOU ALL I WANT. AFTER WHAT YOU DID?! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PRIVACY. AND, YOU HELD ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS HOSTAGE PRACTICALLY. HE FELT TRAPPED AND HE FELT LIKE A FUCKING PUNCHING BAG FOR YOU AND TAMAS. YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING DIPWITS AND YOU ARE PUSSIES. STOP PICKING ON PEOPLE WHO ARE SMALLER THAN YOU!! IT'S NOT OKAY. PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE, OTHERWISE? YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF.