With you...

Chapter 1: Indecision

Harvey's P.O.V 

 Lying in my bed, I reminisced about the last thing Charlotte had said before she left. It was 5 years ago, she said with teary eyes, "I'm sorry Harvey. I'm so sorry. Maybe we can restart all of this after 4 or 5 years if it seems right..." 

"I'll wait for you", I said. Charlotte ran away with tears dripping down her chin, as I stood and watched the love of my life disappear from my life. Charlotte's words echoed throughout my mind all those years, and I couldn't stop thinking about her for even a moment. Nothing I did was ever enough to fill the void inside my heart left by Charlotte, to abbreviate the sorrow of not being able to have her. All these years without her, all those lonely years. But now when the time has finally come, I can't bring himself to contact her. Me, still lying in his bed, turned to look out the window. The sky slowly starts to turn a lighter shade of blue, as light seems to come out from the horizon. Dawn is almost about to break. I grab my phone from the nightstand to check the time. Its 6 a.m. I yawn but I can't sleep. My bloodshot eyes tell all about the sleepless nights I had over the past week, because of this very day. My eyes grow heavy, but my agitated mind doesn't let me sleep. I unlock my phone and open the messaging app, scrolling down and I opens the chat with Charlotte. The last text she sent me was from 5 years ago, and all it said was, "Bye." I typed in, "Hey" but immediately deleted the text, locked my phone and threw it aside. I felt this sharp sting inside my chest. Like something was ramming a pickaxe through my heart. Inhaling deeply, I pulled myself together and got up. But I wasn't strong enough and instantly sat down on the bed. I held my heavy head in my palms with fingers stuck into my hair, as all the poisonous thoughts roamed my mind. Slowly but steadily I got up, grabbed my towel and clothes, and walked into the bathroom. Brushing my teeth I stared into mirror and looked at myself and wondered,"Does she even remember me? She probably doesn't, she probably forgot about me a longtime ago. Even if she does remember me, she's not going to take me in. I mean look at me, she definitely found someone better than me and has moved on." 

I spit out, rinse and whisper to myself, "I wish I could forget about her as easily as she forgot about me..." and sighs. I take off my clothes and walk into the shower. As I turn the tap, hot water gushes out of the shower head and splashes on my skin. I twist the tap even further without adjusting it. Scorching water beats against my skin, and although it burns a little, I actually like it deeming it to fill in for the lack of warmth I'll ever receive from being loved by anyone. I start to sob and weep, but I try to convince myself that these aren't tears, they're just water pouring from the shower. Dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt, I walk out of the bathroom. I grab my phone and walk towards the window. Opening the window, I get greeted by the fresh morning air and the sweet sound of birds chirping. I take a deep breath in and smile. Trying to be a bit more optimistic he think within myself, "You know what maybe she does remember me. Maybe all this time she's been waiting for me as eagerly and patiently as I've been waiting for her. There's still a chance, that after all this time she feels for me as much as I feel for her." I open my phone and open the chat, I type in,"Hey, how are you?" But just as I was about to hit send, I think, "But if she still does remember me, why didn't she text me yet?" I press down the backspace key and exit the chat. I get ready for college and head out. 

Author's P.O.V 

 Everything seems so blurry and unclear to him. The professor's lecture seems inaudible and he can't focus on a word anyone is saying. Harvey keeps zoning out and ponders upon what his life would have been like if he had his beloved Charlotte with him. He momentarily tries to imagine her with someone else, thinking it will help him take her off his mind, but instead it makes him feel sorrowful and now he's in much more agony than he was before. On his way home, all Harvey could think about was Charlotte.He just couldn't put his mind at ease. After all these years he still can't get over her, he just can't stomach the thought of being with someone else other than her. He pulled out his phone once more and opened their chat. He started writing with his heart guiding him. He wrote, "Hey Charlotte how are you? Hope you still remember me. It's Harvey. Listen I just wanted to say that I still have really strong feelings for you. I fell in love with you the moment we met, and I can't stop thinking about you ever since. Remember when you said we could get back after 5 years, well I waited and was wondering if you're still single..." Harvey presses down hard on the backspace key and deletes the entire paragraph.He thinks to himself, "What on earth are you thinking?! One of the reasons she left was because you were so desperate. You really want to make the same mistake twice? She hates you, just give up already. You should've known this was doomed from the start. I think it's finally time you let go." He puts his phone back in his pocket. After getting back home, Harvey runs up the flight of stairs and locks himself in his room. He just can't get rid of that anxious feeling. He mutters to himself, "Who am I kidding I can't let her go..." He takes out his phone again, and before letting any other thought resurfacing and influencing his decision, he texts Charlotte, "Hey." He immediately throws his phone aside, jumps on the bed and buries his face into a pillow, in anticipation of what is to happen next.