Once Upon a Midnight Dreary...

  I carelessly stared out the window in my study. The window was located behind the mahogany desk towards the back of the room. It was a beautiful window, as clear as the finest crystal wine glass. The border of the window was tinted with velvet blacks, crystal blues, and pastel greens, painting an image of a blue-eyed raven perched upon a single branch. The stained glass was a Christmas gift from my darling Virginia in the year 1841. Almost a year before we found that she was cursed with consumption.

  The window was meant to be a reminder to always remember her and the times that we shared together. But as I gaze upon the well-intentioned image, vibrant colors now dulled in the dim candlelight and the stormy night sky, I could not help but feel the sharp bitterness of resentment towards the image, for it is now a reminder of death. I began to glare through the window as the lightning struck violently, the rain incessantly tapping, and the thunder making its mighty presence known.

  The distant sound of deep, painful coughs echoed down the hall of my study. The sound pulled me out of the dark and pitiful recesses of my mind. Instead, my thoughts were redirected to Virginia, who was resting in her chambers. Virginia's bout of coughing this time around has lasted for two months. Three weeks longer than her last bout... Three weeks closer to death. I stood still and deathly silent as I listened to her misery. I waited for it to stop... one... two minutes. One minute too long. One minute closer to Death. She has steadily been getting weaker as months go by. Developing more bouts of coughing and more bouts of time completely devoid of energy. Looking frailer with each bout she develops.

  I silently cursed God for bestowing this dreadful disease upon my sweet Virginia. I grunted angrily at the overwhelming and depressing thoughts that were trying to drown me. I briskly walk over to the crystal decanter of whisky (yet another gift given to me by Virginia) next to the rich red velvet sofa in the middle of the room. I aggressively pulled off the glass lid of the decanter with a loud pop, and then tossed it carelessly on the small dark table on which the decanter sat upon. I grabbed one of the four glasses on the table and poured an overly generous amount of the liquid amber into it, then swallowed the entire glass of burning nectar as if I have been without water for days. I poured myself another overly generous serving of whisky and idlily strolled back over to the window, sipping slowly and hoping to savor it.

  I came to a stop in front of the windowsill and my gaze slowly stopped at the looming image of the raven in the window just slightly above me.

"Memory," I sneered disdainfully, "what good is memory if it only brings you pain?"

  I tossed the idea of savoring the whisky aside and swallowed it whole. I wanted to forget. I wanted to forget the misery of being helpless as I watched my wife suffer. I wanted to forget her pained coughs, her frail body, her bloody handkerchiefs. I wanted to forget how she used to be so vibrant and full of curiosity, now a mere shell of what she had been. I regretfully wanted to forget Her. To forget her name, her existence. To forget Virginia because the mere thought of her current state brings me pain in knowing that her time on earth is short. I wanted to forget everything as if I partook of the waters of the Lethe itself.

  I suddenly heard the painful sounds of Virginia's coughs from down the hall yet again. I stilled. I waited... one... two... three minutes. I heard her moan in agony which then turned into a single loud cry. I cursed softly and sighed, looking down at my glass that is now empty. The misery and the helplessness returned and continued to drown me. I abandoned the glass on my desk; then I slowly, tiredly, walked towards the middle of the room and sat on the edge of the sofa closest to the door. I placed my right arm on the armrest then rested my head upon my right palm. I carelessly fixed my gaze upon the old, cherry grandfather clock that was nestled in between two mahogany bookcases. My face was void of all emotion as I sat and watched the pendulum sway... left... right... left... right...left... The gears turned and the clock hauntingly chimed one... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... ten... eleven... midnight. After the twelfth chime, the rain began to tap more violently and the thundered rolled once more. I continued to watch the pendulum sway until I could keep my eyes open no more.