As i'm running my breath goes cold and my thoughts all thwart to one thing survival. In this endless pool of indecency and lust. My head keeps going underwater but i keep coming back up because i have to be strong for everyone around me. Vulnerability is something I only show to certain people. Certain people that I would take endless bullets for but not sure if they do the same for me
In bleak moments i always have happiness but refuse to accept it as much as i want to i never can. My favorite thoughts are with my friend the thing that keeps me sane she is everything to me. and all i do is seem to mess up makes me question what i'm doing everyday. I wonder if i'm good enough if my qualities are just faint. My nose is filling with water at this point not sure where i'm going but hopefully it is better in my head it seems but i know wherever i go something dark follows it is not good i want it to be gone I'm in search of guidance to string my boat along to the right side.
It seems the boat has holes more then ever that I hope I can fix soon but I won't be able to do it alone. I need someone I don't think im depressed or utterly useless I just change moods easy. It shouldn't be that way but i get mad at myself for the mistakes I cause and it isn't fair because i never ever tell people why I get salty or want to stay quiet. It all just happens
