I am a Feminist

I am a Feminist

What a loaded word,

Feminist.

I am defined by it,

And undefined by it,

Because feminism isn't definitive.

I believe in girl power,

Because I am a powerful girl.

No.

I am a powerful woman.

And what does it mean to be a woman?

I don't know.

If I knew I would tell you,

But there is no instruction manual that came with my vagina,

Telling me what it means to be a woman.

Does being a woman mean you have a vagina?

Does it mean you have breasts?

Does it mean you're a feminist?

No.

I guess not.

Because I get asked why I decided to be a feminist.

There was no deciding invovled.

When I looked at the news,

Dealing with my own abuse-  

Self inflicted abuse,

My mind abusing me because someone abused me,

I saw.

I saw women getting abused.

I saw women getting abused and being blamed for it,

For what they were,

Or rather,

What they weren't wearing.

What about me?

I was six years old.

I liked to pretend I was a mermaid,

I liked to wear polkadots and stripes,

I liked to keep my hair unbrushed. 

In being a girl,

In being a child,

Was I asking for it?

So,

No.

No,

I did not chose to be a feminist.

Because being a feminist means knowing that being raped was not my fault.

Beacause being a feminist means that I can walk down the street without fear.

Because people assume my being feminin diludes my being a feminist.

I can never forget about it,

Either.

 I go online,

Mostly to forget,

And I see people calling girls and women sluts,

And then explaining that they aren't sluts because they were raped,

And that is how they lost their virginity.

I lost my virginity to rape too.

But I shouldn't be called a slut,

Not just because of my assult,

Because I can sleep with who I want,

Regardless of my own abuse  

It's not up to you to decide who I sleep with,

It's between me and the person, or people I'm sleeping with.                                                                                                                              

My assult does not define me,

And it is not an excuse for my sexual activity,

Because I don't need to excuse myself.

I am a feminist because these people teach me that,

As a woman,

I am less valuable without my virginity,

That my virginity equals my morality.

But,

I am a good person because I decide to be,

Not because there hasn't been a person inside of me.

Too many people equate the two,

And that is the difference between me and you,

Because I am who I am,

And that is a feminist.