THICK & THIN ✿ reddie

call me when you hang.

Eddie grips the back of Beverly's shirt tighter. "I want to hate him so bad, Bev," he sobs.

He wants to feel a seething rage for Richie. He wants to despise him, but he can't.

It'd been a week since the confrontation and Eddie's still reeling—partially from Garret, but also from confronting Richie.

The second Richie learned the truth he looked devastated, which made him feel all the more conflicted. Sometimes he just wishes Richie would hurt him on purpose, not just because he makes bad decisions and is an addict.

Beverly strokes his hair. "I know, baby, but you can't force yourself to hate someone you love," she points out.

Eddie shakes his head, tears streaming down his face. "Why do I still love him so much?"

"Eddie...I know you might not want to hear it, but you guys are like soulmates, and the fact that your breakup was so complicated doesn't help either," she says.

Eddie stiffens, pulling back. "You know things can never be the same again."

"Eddie, you—"

"I need some fresh air," he says, cutting her off.

He quickly gathers himself and rushes out the door, ignoring Beverly's protests. He's not sure why, but he had to get away from that conversation.

He had to get away because he can't listen to what's most likely the truth. Richie probably is his soulmate, and if that's true, then they've really fucked up.

He huffs and pushes open the door to the stairway leading to the roof. Sometimes he and Richie would sneak up there and look at the stars.

He climbs the stairs and shoulders open the heavy door. He's surprised to find that someone's already beaten him up there, and even more surprised to see the person is standing on the ledge of the building.

Eddie lets the door close carefully behind him. The person must be fucking insane to be so close to the edge; one misstep and they'd be plummeting to their death.

Abruptly the person is leaning forward, one foot outstretched as if to take another step forward even though there's nothing there to catch them. It's suddenly very clear why the person is so close to the edge.

"Hey, wait!" Eddie screams.

The figure stills. "I was thinking you weren't gonna come this time," they say in a voice Eddie would recognize anywhere.

"Richie?" he asks.

Richie doesn't turn around, but he sighs loud enough for Eddie to hear. "Why do I see you every time I try to kill myself? Why not Bevvy or Bill or Stan?"

Eddie's eyes widen. "Rich, what are you talking about? Get down from the ledge, please."

"No. Every time I look, you disappear," he says, "I don't wanna be alone again, Eds."

Eddie feels his throat clog up and a whole new set of tears prick at his eyes. "Richie," he says desperately.

He's obviously high out of his mind, and Eddie has no idea how to convince him he's not hallucinating.

"I hurt you again," he continues. "I'd rather be dead than keep hurting you, so why do you always try and stop me, huh?"

Eddie heart twists as he starts crying. It hits him that Richie's been trying to die. "Richie, please," he begs.